Let me clarify STUPID THINGS as stuff we have done that was brainless, irresponsible, thoughtless, rude, selfish, idiotic, etc. - you get the idea; just dumb stuff. I’m not talking about killing somebody and go: “Oops that was stupid”, because that is so above any form of comprehension and way beyond extreme stupidity. I’m just talking about things that do surprise us, as we normally would not have done that. If we only learn one thing from these I’m pleading insanity moments, let it be that we will never ever do it again – really.
I had traveled for two weeks; it was a chaotic trip and I eagerly wanted to get the heck home. Copenhagen International Airport was busy and there were lines everywhere. I finally had my boarding pass for Chicago and on to San Francisco. After the security check-point, I wobbled out to the gate. Then I waited in line outside the gate before being checked into the gate-lounge area to wait for boarding to begin. Got the picture? The line I was impatiently waiting in did not move. Time for departure was coming up fast, so I got even more irritated and frustrated; okay, at this time I had reached royally pissed. About 10 minutes before scheduled departure I heard my name over the PA system: “Mr. Peter Steiness, please come to Gate 24 immediately, we are ready for departure, bla, bla, bla”. But we were not even checked into the lounge yet! I grabbed my carry-on and rushed up to the counter banging into everybody on the way; at that point I had lost every bit of being cool. I proceeded to deliver an Oscar worthy tirade into the face of the unfortunate person who was supposed to have checked us in. I went on for a while, loud as ever, while she just stood there trying to give me her best calm-down-you-jerk look. “I don’t want to miss the (insert your favorite explicit – I used them all) flight to Chicago nor the (use it again) flight to SFO, so get the (oh no, not again) show in the air”; well, you get the idea. Everybody in the long line was now listening and seemed to enjoy the floor-show with Peter-the-Jerk as the main attraction. After several long moments I had to catch my breath at which time she calmly looked at me. “Mr. Steiness, do you want to visit Moscow?” I exploded yet again, “or do you want to go to Chicago?” she peacefully continued. “(*&^%$#) Chicago,” I screamed. “Well, in that case I suggest you run over to Gate 24 as fast as you can; this is Gate 23. All these nice folks are going to Moscow.” I had waited at the wrong gate for 45 minutes. I never felt so embarrassed, so utterly dumb and like such an extreme idiot. As I ran over to the correct gate (which was now closed, but they did let me in) many people in the Moscow line applauded – at the time it sounded very sarcastic. I finally wobbled down the aisle on the correct plane to find my seat; I just wanted to sit down and die. I was so positive everybody on this plane had also heard my loud tirade. Even today I have a hard time flying out of Copenhagen, as I feel they still recognize me – even after all these years.
The above scenario didn’t leave any casualties; nobody was hurt except my ego, pride, self-esteem, honor, calm demeanor, control of communication skills, you know, just about everything; but nobody else was injured. Even writing about this incident embarrass me; traveling through any airport today, I am constantly reminded of that time. But the positive thing is that I learned to triple check everything when I fly and have not done the wrong gate thing since – lesson learned.
I knew who she was; very sweet, lovely and a bit on the quiet side. I was living in Denmark and perhaps 23. A female colleague kept prodding me to ask this sweet and kind girl out, but at the time I was obsessed (pretty much) with another girl (who didn’t know I existed). Now don’t giggle and think I was some kind of Adonis-like Don Juan Lover-Boy. I was very far from that image; look up Nerd-Boy and there would be a picture of me. But this sweet girl wanted to go out on a date, but I didn’t. One evening she approached me in a restaurant where I was eating with some friends of mine. She asked me straight out if I wanted to come to her house and have dinner that next Friday. Now understand that any sane male would have grabbed that offer without blinking; she was that nice, intelligent and pretty. I felt caught between the proverbial rock and a hard place. “Okay,” I stuttered (and regretted it in that same breath)…
Friday arrived and I still did not want to go; but I got ready, got some flowers, a bottle of wine and drove to her house. As I parked in the front, my feet got very cold. It had absolutely nothing to do with her, only some really stupid stuff between my ears. With the vision and naïve hope of that other girl, I started up the car and drove off, making me an instant no-show-jerk.
The next day my female colleague who had suggested the previous evening’s date more or less, stormed into my office and gave me a bucket full of… well, you get the picture. This sweet girl had made a full course dinner with wine and candles and talked about me coming over (well, go figure). She had been excited and had looked forward to a nice evening with me – and then the no-show-jerk didn’t even call her to cancel nor to apologize. To top it all, she had seen me arriving, parked in front of her house, as well as leaving (fleeing is a better term).
Though this is so many years ago, I seriously feel a lot of shame, so much self-loathing every time I think about it. She has no doubt forgotten it all. I get very uncomfortable when I’m reminded of my utter stupidity and cruel disrespect concerning another human being. If I have ever learned a lesson, this is way up on top of the list. The stupid stuff incidents above, are just a couple of examples from my stupid stuff library.
I’m sure you also have some stupid stuff skeletons in the closet, something you regret you did or didn't do (feel free to share…). But when we learn from the stupid stuff we realize we have done, we have come a long way. None of us are stupid-stuff-free, and that’s okay, as it is just another part of growing up, being human and gather experience; and that part is not stupid at all.
This week, remember that a smile is the shortest distance between two people.
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