YOUNG PEOPLE – not getting enough credit

We do not give young people, the youth of this world, enough credit. We are more so busy being critical, rolling our eyes, shaking our heads, while fearing for our future. To me that is very unfair and somewhat ignorant. I’m positive this is how you see it as well; being unfair and ignorant are not things you and I do, is it?

Last Monday I was invited to a dance performance at Duke University (American Dance Festival / Durham – North Carolina), by dear friends of mine. Hundreds of young dancers, going through programs of six weeks and finishing with performances in front of audiences.

Most of the sold out theatre consisted of other dancers from the program; their support could be heard the very second the curtain started to rise. Screams, whistling and hollering were surprising and loud, but WOW, what energy; and the show hadn’t even started yet. But then it did, and again more noise and WOW.

I’m not a grand fan of modern dance, compared to classics like Swan Lake and stuff like that. But this evening I was blown away by the tremendous energy, the focus, the discipline and seemingly endless joy these young kids projected on stage. And then I imagined the tireless training and practices, hour after hour, day after day and then weeks. I cannot be more in awe – extremely impressive – and so young they were, really. It made me proud of being an adult and a parent; it made me more so proud of them – and I didn’t even know any of them, other than being young people.

The definition of the age range that constitutes “young” or “youth” varies. But let’s run with between 15 and 24; this is established by the United Nations and the World Bank (of all institutions), just to name a few.

When I say “we”, I’m referring to those of us, who are beyond the age of 24, have been around the block a few times and perhaps with a kid or two of our own.

Young people are roaming around in the awkward period of their lives between childhood and adulthood. It’s where a lot of decisions are being tested, growing up is tried, acknowledgment of sexuality, mixed with overall confusions, anxieties, stress and expectations. All this is hammered at them from all sides, while being met and fought by pressure and hopes from inside. Parents, teachers and any so-called adults are there in-their-faces telling them what is good for them because they know what is good. And we do know what is good, but we are not too good at applying it correctly, are we?

The biggest mistake we consistently make is that we fortuitously consider young people to be on the same level as we are. We give little thought to the fact, that they are so far from where we are emotionally, maturity-wise, academically, work-experience, life-experience, etc. but we still communicate to them as if we are on the same track, as if they do feel, react, understand and acknowledge precisely as we do. That’s why we don’t “understand” each other as well as we should, and that’s why we adults’ sound rather derogatory and ignorant concerning the group of youngsters (all the while those same young people shake their combined heads).

Let’s try to listen to each other more, try to understand where we are all coming from and where we would like to go. The second we put down our defenses on both sides, we will no doubt be able to move forward a lot faster – together and with greater success for all.

It’s said that the youth is our future and that is true, of course. But it is also true that we are the ones teaching them, educating them, giving them those values to live by, and so much more. We are actually the ones who are more so responsible for that future thing. So if you think the future looks bleak, by looking at the young people and you are a full-blooded adult, it’s pretty much your own fault. The kids are merely pawns on the board of life, with the grown-ups trying hard to make the right moves for them (and that is rather poetic, huh?)

I watch the 2012 London Olympics these days and I see the thousands of young people, our children and part of our future, exposing brilliant faces of energy, excitement, life and positive promises of times yet to come. I tear up and I send thanks to the ones they trusted, who believed in them and told them that they could, whatever they sat out to do. I tear up thinking of the extreme sacrifices, the training and determination they had to pull out of their hearts and bodies to reach this pinnacle of their lives. You tell me, but how bloody cool is that? Still worried about our future? I am not – never been; just look around you.

It’s all about the kids that we are faced with daily, those we brought up, we taught and coached. When you look around and you acknowledge the stuff we went through back then (way back, for some of us), and apply those feelings to those who are going through that young thing today, don’t you feel a bit more compassion, patience and understanding? I do. Many of our parents expected miracles, for the most with disappointing results for all involved; so shouldn’t we have learned from that?

Most children and young people want to please themselves, but they also want to please their parents, teachers and coaches, the sport’s and life kinds. So we should look for better and smarter ways of helping them doing both, by better understanding where they are mentally, with maturity, etc.

I have always believed that personal success will be accomplished when we strive to do the best within the realm of our abilities. We shouldn’t expect or push for results way beyond that. We must bring up our children and understand young people within that reality, by giving our 100% in support concerning their efforts accordingly – at least that is my belief.

Youth is not solely a time of life, but is also a state of mind. This brings up the issue that some want and try to be younger. Now, really, why the heck would you like to do that? I always thought it ridiculous and silly. Why would I ride back to 18 and “duh”? Okay, if you gave me the option of 18 and the life experience I have today – okay WOW, I’m on it. Not only would I be a young adult stud genius, but how do you think my dating scenario would look like, even with my looks?  One word: very busy (giggle-giggle) and exhausting, duh! Sorry, got off on the impossible fantasy track… I am extremely happy where I am, thank you - let's continue.

For the most part, we highlight and pay attention to the jerks and slackers among young people, like we are trying to make our point “the youth today, yuk” (and as if there are no such characters among adults?) But look at the ones who are normal, who are leading and exceeding, the ones who are doing very well and the broad wonderful average. These are all young people, with dreams, plans and expectations – and racing towards their goals or something – many do not know what those are yet – and that is also okay.  But let’s stop judging a whole generation by a few bad apples, okay?

I have grand trust and confidence in our future, because we brought up a great bunch of kids. I look at young faces filled with determination, action and eagerness to perform, to succeed, to create and carry on with this wonderful world of ours.

Look around, acknowledge all the great stuff they do and then tell them what you see. When we tell them, we are rewarded with the biggest smiles and “thank you” and then they try even harder. I know, because I do it all the time – and you should too, as it means so much to them, and makes all of us feel cuddly and fuzzy inside – life at its very best.

See you next Monday – all cuddly & fuzzy, please… 

TRAVEL – tripping the legal way

As an activity, traveling is one of my most favorite things to do – it has been since I was a kid back in 1822. Part of the 100% pleasure of every trip I travel, is the fact that besides looking forward to the upcoming journey, I already look forward to return home; that is a rather grand combination - don’t you think?

Travel is the movement of people or stuff between geographical locations. The term travel is from the French travail. To avoid concerned calls from international readers, I’d like to make clear that a person doing the travel bit is spelled traveler in the USA, but traveller in the UK - now you can decide what side you are on. Just another useless tidbit…

There are many reasons why we travel. It can be for relaxation, business, discovery, exploring, experience other people, places and cultures. My first travel experience was going from Copenhagen to visit my Grandfather in Odense (Denmark). It consisted of a trip on a train, a ferry-boat ride (with the train rolling on board) and a few nights stay at the Mission Hotel. Though my Mother has dementia, she still tells me (again and again), how I, as a little boy, was very fascinated by the “different” accent of Danish the staff was speaking, also known as Fynsk, from the name of the island Odense is on.

My next travel experience was biking for four hours with 40 other soccer-players and most of my worldly goods strapped to the frame. We were off to 14 days of soccer-summer camp – two weeks apart from my Mother; at 10, a rather traumatic experience. But my Dear Mother managed to send 3-4 “goodie-packages”, while I was in camp, consisting of candy and other comfy-foods – plus a lot of Motherly love. I think she missed me as much as I missed her.

As I got older, travel started to include car-trips to Paris, South of France, Germany, Sweden, Norway, Spain, Switzerland, Holland, Austria, England and of course Denmark, etc. Then plane-rides were added, as my time on business-trips began. But the leisure, non-business related travels, never stopped.

I remember my first 2 week cheap charter trip to southern Spain and way to much Sangria that first night. Obviously I didn’t know how potent that stuff was; never touched it since. On a positive note, I did find that YES they have toilet bowls in Spain…as I spent half a night with my head in one of them. Not the best way to recall an otherwise great trip, huh? Sorry…

I have never dreaded any trips, besides the few that involved overnights on camping grounds; funny story for some other time. Even difficult business trips where “results” were expected and therefore filled with anxieties and high stress, never bothered me enough not to enjoy going geographically from A to B. A trip was a trip and is still a trip; and I like tripping any way I can (the legal kind, of course).

Any size of travel for me, short or long distances, short or long time-wise, is as exciting. Part of the simple pleasure is to get out of my everyday schedule. Don’t get me wrong, I like my daily routine, being very organized and pleasant. But as anything, no matter how pleasant, it becomes a drag at certain points, and a trip to anywhere can refresh and reboot everything, which is one of the reasons I’m looking forward to return home, from the moment I take off to travel.

That I look forward to return home NEVER interferes with the joy of traveling; it simply makes it so much better – really. And YES I miss my wife a lot when we are not traveling together, but I try not to dwell on it too much.

Though I always enjoy new scenery, experiences, smells, sounds and views, it is the connection with fellow travelers and most certainly with the natives of the places, cities and countries I visit, that is the most exciting. Though I am a shy person (read earlier post), but have learned to control it, I pretty much talk to anybody I meet on my way – yes, even in elevators. To me, that part is so important in the overall experience of traveling.

At the moment I’m actually “on a trip”. My wife and I are traveling with good friends to Miami (Florida), then further south and a few days in Key West. So far we have had a blast and expected nothing else. A few technical annoyances have been laughed off, fixed, and then we moved on - no big deal.

Of the many people I have connected with so far, besides some Florida natives: A delightful German woman who is on vacation with a friend of hers and off on a Caribbean cruise in a few days. We chatted away on the bus to and from a tour of the Everglades. She charmingly ended every statement (in very nice English), with a German JA? which we all know is like YES? It wasn’t that we exchanged personal information, told about our lives, but it was all about observations of things and people around us that very moment. So we laughed a lot, this Danish dude, this German dudette, on a little bus in Florida (USA). When the bus trip was over as we returned to Miami, she said bye and I waved auf wiedersehen, which means: see you again – which is never going to happen, of course.

I also met two fun young women from New York. They were also German but are living in the USA. Then there were three individuals from Australia – and some laughter while watching some very bored alligators, being fed by hand by a silly man (being in a cage with 6-7 of those weird animals, is rather silly). Oh, and I met a Danish family that I chatted away with (in Danish, of course).

I do have to admit that one thing I am a bit sad about is, that it’s very few of the thousands of people I have “communicated” with over the many years of travel, that I kept in contact with. It has always been “we are here now – and that’s about it”. You have had the greatest time and conversation with the seat-mate from San Francisco to Amsterdam and then we both get up, leave the plane and barely acknowledge each other in baggage claim. I never figured out why that is – could it be me? NAH...

But of all the thousands I failed keeping in contact with, of all the great times that vanished “after use”, I had one single casual travel-meeting that ended up in becoming my best pal ever. That made the many other missed connections worth it all. Meeting my pal Michael, on top of the Eiffel Tower back in Paris, 1974, became the ultimate “casual” chat. (Read the post: MICHAEL – we’ll always have Paris).

I hope you enjoy traveling as much as I do. Sure there are irritating moments on any trip such as security checks where we have to remove most of our clothes, paying $25 for one piece of check-in luggage. Drinks in the air at $8 and seriously crappy stuff to eat, that makes hospital food taste like gourmet dining – and they want money for it; how dare they?

But besides a few negatives, traveling is fabulously fantastic, it really is. The only thing I have missed these last 55 years away from home is of course my Mother’s goodie-packages – oh well.

Until next Monday: Bon Voyage (that’s also French…)

LIFE – the option really sucks

Once in a while, do you stop and look at your life, what you have lived so far, your childhood, your family and friends, experiences, tears and laughter, school, changing from diapers to child to adult, first job, love, kiss and car? Do you find that you are where you planned to be, or did the road twist, turn, stop and go in so many surprisingly different and perhaps exciting ways?

Today, are you surrounded by people you love and respect, people who make your life rich, fun, colorful and exciting? Do you feel that your future dreams and goals will come true?

But most importantly, how often do you acknowledge and fully appreciate this great wonder called LIFE? I hope it’s often, because compared to life - the option really sucks.

I find it utterly fascinating when I try to comprehend all these billions of things that are keeping us together inside and out, make us function, stay alive and still be able to watch Dancing with the Stars without puking. My brilliant point is that we should appreciate this life thing a heck of a lot more, and not so ignorantly take it all for granted – because that’s what we do – but we shouldn’t.

 It was the Greek philosopher Socrates (notice: he only had one name, just like Cher, Sting, God and Bambi), who asked: “How should one live?” I think he was hinting virtues with respect to living. Perhaps moral aspects of conduct, observing duties, rules, laws and regulations, whatever that might be, as well as contributing to general welfare amongst us. All pretty cool stuff.

Aristotle was another one-named Greek dude; though incidentally, some believe his first name was Benjamin (Benny, among his bowling buddies). Benny talked about The Good Life, not solely referring to his bowling average, but a life based on human fulfillment; many parts of that philosophy landed on what we today know as morality. He saw The Good Life as being a life that flourished and was successful. Socrates, Benny A. and Peter S. - thinking alike, yet again...

To me a good life is one we live with meaning. How much meaning we care to provide for ourselves and for the people around us, has ALL to do with how willing we are to work toward the quality of this good life thing. But Meaning is not something that will be presented to us on a silver platter; it is purely something we must create and work for, if a meaningful life is what we want.

For some, quality of life is based on materialistic goodies, which are money, property, travels, cars and expensive habits. Some feel that being measured by what they surround themselves with, dress up in, etc. is what counts; it makes them feel good and is their measure of meaning. I fully respect that.

Other people find gratifying meaning in life by simpler things, different values dominate, are perhaps easier to produce, but are as effective. Sure I could write a fat book about the differences, the multitude of levels, but why bother, because in the end it all comes down to the fact that wherever you are, whatever level you find yourself on, the meaning of life means precisely the same thing, has the same values, but in so many different ways – and that is so fascinating; don’t you think? But do we appreciate all this – life?

When you sit among friends, having a glass of wine or two, lots of chatter and laughter, do you once in a while pause within yourself, smile and mumble: “It doesn’t get any better than this…”? I hope you do. It is something that takes a split second, but is so powerful. When it happens to me, it is nothing I can force – it just comes to me as an emotion and I react accordingly. Euphoric is the only word that can describe it; some of the meaning of my life, manifested in one split second – once in a while.

The unfortunate normality concerning the lack of appreciation of life is that we are too darn busy to notice what’s going on around us. Some forge ahead at super-speed wearing blinders, with over-packed schedules and wishes that 24/7 was more like 48/7.

On the other end of the spectrum, we have the pathetic, non-active and total lack of energy individuals, with no clue as to what this is all about and what they are missing. Sure “to-each-his-or-her-own”, but please…

And then there are all the rest of us who are floating around in the middle, living what we perhaps can acknowledge as a fairly normal life on a comfortable level. That is not stated as an arrogant observation, as I’m floating right along with you.

But no matter where in the mix we are, my concern is that we do not appreciate LIFE as often and as much as we should; we do not stop and smell the roses; not even literally. We take way too many things for granted. We don’t always see the people right in front of our faces – they are just there, as they always are and as they should always be; it’s what we expect, but rarely appreciate. Don’t you think that is sad?

Do we appreciate and acknowledge the awesome nature we are surrounded by, that we have been blessed with, but that we don’t really see? What about the buildings in a city, flying at 35,000 feet, flushing toilets, computers, cute bunnies named Fluffy, medicine and science, technology and education; how about your awesome friend, partner, children, colleagues, wife and husband? Are we really that blind – on a daily basis? Shouldn’t we open our eyes and suck it all in – at least once in a while? I hope you do – really; because life is precious and we should live and acknowledge it accordingly.

Of course there are thousands of things that can and do go wrong. We might struggle with sadness, depression and sorrow, agony, disappointment, failure, jealousy and envy, our favorite voted out of Dancing with the Stars, illness, impairments – and the list is awful and long. This is the unfortunate darker side of our existence, but it is still part of what life is also about – the side we have to deal with and adjust to.

In most cases we do have choices with respect to how we handle and adjust to our lower moments. Start by stepping back and take a wider look at life’s bigger picture, acknowledge the billions of things we can and should and must appreciate, and the perspective opens up. Sure it does not always solve our problems, but it sure helps when we give it a try – it really does.

Just look at the people around you. Study (without stalking or drooling) how they interact, their emotions, laughs and cries – it’s priceless. Take good care of yourself, your friends and family; they will take good care of you in return. Let them know often, how much you love and appreciate them. They might look at you with a surprised smirk on their faces, but then they will smile and tell you the same; we all want to be told – but we just forget to tell each other more often.

I like my life; I have lived it well. So many ups mixed with a few downs; overall it has been and it is grand – seriously. I don’t take many things for granted anymore, but I still make that extra effort to stop and smell the roses and not just literally.

This is how much I appreciate life – but not only because the option really sucks…

Till next Monday – tell somebody…okay?

RELATIONSHIPS – am I any good at it?

If I met me, would I consider myself a good candidate for a relationship? Would I like me as a close friend, a dedicated husband or a trusted colleague in the workplace? However conceited this might sound, I feel I could have a good relationship with somebody like me, because I view myself as a decent dude.

Of course it wouldn’t be a fun relationship, as we (me & me) would already know all the jokes, the silly remarks and the vast quantity of humorous punch lines – so what the heck kind of relationship would that be, besides flat and boring, huh?

I’m not talking about the relationships we have with pets, mobile phones, cars, stuffed bunnies named Fluffy or the all-important connection with inflatable Sexy O’Floozie. I mean relationships we have with spouses, partners, family members, friends, colleagues; those kinds of real unions.

Relationship means interpersonal; it’s the bond or association between two or more people. It was on a dark and stormy night back in 1741 that this new noun was born (yes, in a barn); it meant the state of being related or interrelated. As I see it, it was originally used in reference to relations within families; relations, as in related to. I really like the ship bit, as ships either float or sink – just like relationships do; and you didn’t think of that, did you?

But today, when we use the term relationship, it pretty much covers associations between any humans, perhaps in more intimate and romantic ways and across gender lines.

We start relationships by getting acquainted. Then we build on those initial inclinations, establishing trust and respect. Continuation suggests commitment and a relationship is born. Sounds easy? Well, it’s not a piece of cake, if that’s what you think.

Any kind of relationship, amongst them friendship, marriage, partnership, etc. (but unfortunately not Inflatable Floozie), includes respect, trust, dedication, love, compassion, responsibility and appreciation, just to name a few; to keep the ship afloat takes a lot of hard work.

If we do not work hard enough, lose interest, fall out of love or any of those other things, the relationship will run out of steam or hit an iceberg; also known as termination. So, how good are we at this relationship stuff and how can we improve matters if we suck at it?

In my personal book of references, we are flock animals (I mean, we see females go to the restroom in large groups all the time – which scientifically proves my point) and we have urges for relationships; we crave stimulation from each other.

Surprisingly, we are basically a monogamous race, meaning that we do not stray as much as they do in soap-operas, movies and so-called reality TV (God forbid); for the most part we pair up and that’s that. Yeah, I know the divorce ratio does not fully support my point of view. But still, my point is that relationships are very important to us; and here is my even more important point (debatable, but go with it anyway, okay?)

Though relationships are interpersonal, meaning at least two individuals participate, I strongly believe that the Mother of all relationships, is the relationship and the quality of same, that we have with ourselves. How we relate to ourselves very much establish us in our relationships with other human beings; this is the very important foundation.

You see, what we think about ourselves, the good and bad attitudes we drag around and the overall opinion we have of our own character and personality, will of course reflect in our relationships with others; pure logic? Well of course it is.

Some people whine about how they cannot connect, build friendships, find partners and stuff. For the most they blame things around them to be the reasons why they fail in this relationship stuff. We can always come up with plenty of excuses by pointing fingers; but we should really point at ourselves first and then start to search for solutions within who we are – perhaps find who we could really be.

When we dissect our inner selves, which we should do at least once a year anyway, we find a lot of good stuff we do, we think and many positive attitudes of all kinds. But we also find stuff that we kind of ignore, we know they are there; stuff we have done nothing to solve and/or improve upon. So it’s time to go on a soul-searching expedition.

Many times in my life, I have sat down with that big pad of mine, a pen and a few hours to spare (oh, and a bottle of wine). I split the page with a line down the middle. Then I write positive on top of the left column and negative on the right – are you with so far?

To start on a positive note, I write everything down about me that I can find, stuff I’m happy with concerning my person, character, personality, values, etc. Then I move to the negative column, write down everything I don’t like about myself, stuff I should do I haven’t done, my physical being (exercise more, eat less, etc.) When I’m emptied out, I pour another glass of wine, sit back and read the two columns out loud; this way it sinks in better; you get the idea.

Then I go back to each column. I make notations about how I can do better, because no matter how good or bad we are at something, we can always improve. It’s a very positive process that should perk you up.

And it’s in the negative column where the fun really starts. I live by the fact that when we know and accept what is wrong, we are halfway to the solution. Once we look at negativity in a positive light, we will find ways to correct and improve.

Yes, it takes effort to improve ourselves and lots of it. It’s always easier to do nothing, but don’t be surprised when the outcome sucks accordingly. And don’t try to change your world in one swell swoop; just change it one little bit at a time, but keep doing it.

When you feel comfortable about the changes and observations you have made, it’s time to imagine if you would like to have a relationship with you; look at yourself from the outside. Can you see redeeming values that you imagine other people will acknowledge, respect and appreciate? If not, go back to your list, and see what else can be done; it is a refreshing experience - I do it all the time.

What do we like about the relationships we are in? What is it that attracts us to our friends, family, certain colleagues, etc.? We probably find a lot of common ground in the relationships we have; same stuff we appreciate and respect, but stuff we rarely think about. “She’s my best friend”, we’d say and for most of us, that pretty much covers it – but of course there is so much more behind the statement: “she’s my best friend”. We don’t dissect our relationships, because it is not important. For the most part it just feels right, and that is all the information we need.

I seriously don’t have many relationships, but the ones I do have involves a lot of pleasantness, respect, appreciation, love and in all of them, a ton of laughter. I do not take any of my relationships for granted, never have and never will, especially the one I have with myself.

I think I’m an okay relationship; I can be trusted and I will do next to anything to help the people I have a relationship with. But would I take a bullet for any of them? Come on, I’m not stupid; though I would take one for my wife, because she is the best and most ultimate relationship I have ever been in and will ever be in.

And how are you doing?

Until next Monday, remember that: life is precious, so live accordingly

A HANDY FOOT-NOTE:

“Taking a bullet” is just a matter of speaking, rather hypothetical, meaning it will never happen, so it means nothing – except for the heroic effort by taking one for my wife – I would do that, and not just hypothetically, okay? Of course I hope I’ll never have to prove such silly statement…

LISE, MY DOLL – stuffing we find comfort in

She was always by my side and next to me in bed. As I got older, we were careful not to get caught together, because it wasn’t right anymore; the embarrassment would have been devastating. I tried to explain it to her, but she just smiled as her deep blue eyes looked into my heart. “It’s alright, Peter, I understand,” she said softly and I felt her warmth. Through her short life, she was the utmost of comfort to me and she never asked for anything in return.

No, this is not the end of some tear-jerking romance novel, but a brief description of my relationship with Dukke Lise (Danish, meaning: a doll named Lise). That's what I called her from the first time we met; I was about one year old. My grandmother might have given her to me, but I doubt it. I asked my Mother, but she can’t remember; she has dementia (my Mother, not Dukke Lise); in some cases she can remember stuff from way back, but not about Lise – I really love my Mother. Why I was given a doll, I never figured out. I’m sure they knew I was a boy, because it’s so easy to check - don’t you think?

The head of my doll consisted of two halves made of molded cardboard; the face and the back of her head. The two halves had rudely been stapled together and topped with a wiry set of stiff, blond hair. But Lise quickly turned bald and stayed that way till the day we parted. But did I care? Not at all and Lise didn’t either. She was mine, we belonged together and I always found great comfort in her – it had no doubt a lot to do with those deep blue eyes and that soft, reassuring voice.

Lise and I parted ways when I was about 24. For some reason my Mother had kept her in a box for so many years. One day I was visiting, she told me that she had finally thrown Lise out, open bald skull and all. I remember I was saddened by that, because she wouldn’t be here anymore to remind me of all those great chats we had had through so many years, the comfort she gave me during tough times, and the sharing of so many happy childhood moments. I also miss her blue, long-sleeved denim dress and the white apron, so totally worn out; and then I moved on.

In early parts of our lives we find comfort and safety in inanimate things, that being teddy bears, stuffed bunnies named Fluffy, animals of all sorts, dolls and blankets, to name a few. We confess our deepest secrets, our emotional highs and lows to them and in return we get unconditional love, understanding and friendship; as uncomplicated as that is - as powerful and simple it is. But what about today; have you fully dropped all this? I can't say I have. So how about you; are you brave enough to confess?

I have always been a sucker for stuffed animals, but now I’m supposedly too “adult”. I can't carry them around anymore, bring them along on planes and travels or even have them share my pillow; also because the dog and the cat won’t give up any of “their” space of same pillow. When I see this big cuddly teddy bear with those cute eyes sitting together a bit too close, which makes Teddy look even more adorable, I reach for my wallet and I’m ready to adopt. But then I snap back to act my age, I close the wallet and quietly say "sorry" (while nobody is watching, duh!) I could of course say it’s for my grandchild – but I don’t have one and I’m not going to start lying, not even for a stuffed bear; I’m sure he’ll understand.

But I’m not quite totally “adult”, as I do have several renditions of Tigger from Winnie the Pooh in front of me, on the shelf above the PC. I even have a picture of my wife, with an image of Tigger and the word BOUNCY on the colorful frame. And that is what he is, so energetic and BOUNCY; a very good inspiration as well as he is so utterly cute. On the sofa behind me in the office, sits a collection of many Tiggers in several sizes, seriously; Oh, and I have a stuffed Tigger key-ring… Do you?

As kids we more so held on to our safety blankets and stuffed friends, because they did work a lot of magic. But I also believe that I’m not alone in the pretend-friend world I find myself in now, as mature adult as can be (and good luck with that). Case in point: my pal Tigger.

If I have to explain myself, Tigger gives me some form of comfort at times, but now it’s more so about the image of Tigger. I see innocence, energy, simplicity and then that happy BOUNCING stuff; all so very positive – and there is nothing wrong with that – according to my psychiatrist, probation officer, Kirkegaard and Freud. And he does make me smile – he really does; not Kirkegaard (God forbid), but Tigger (Kirkegaard was such an introverted sour-puss and so depressing hanging out with, really; not the life of any party).

So what stuffed comfort animal do YOU hide behind your back? You see, I have no doubts that most of us have something and when it’s “most of us” it can legally be filed under normal and average (if we don’t get carried away or get caught?)

Do I also find comfort because Tigger never disagrees with what I communicate to him? Is it the grand listening skills he has? When we are frustrated, we find therapy in talking, as in thinking out loud, and Tigger is all (cute) ears, he really is. That is what we need the most when something is on our minds or in our hearts – a really good listener.

Of course adult females are more up front with all this, where males are not willing to share so easily. But since I have confessed, would some other representative of the male species please step forward? Nah, you don’t have to – we already know who you are (remember: you left your Web-cam on)...

I used to be into anything Snoopy – big time, but as with so many other things, we change and it has been Tigger ever since. And all this makes so much sense when you look into those cute eyes of his; don’t you agree? Try it...

What is there NOT to love? He made you smile, didn’t he?

          

I miss Dukke Lise – I really do. I should have held on to her as she would have kept so many childhood memories even more so alive, kept them perhaps more vibrant and colorful; her physical presence might have connected me to that time of my life in a fuller way. But I did move on and I have since managed just fine without her; Tigger took care of that, he really did.

Tigger would have loved Dukke Lise; they would have been great pals, with Lise so sensible and balanced and Tigger so bouncing around like crazy; good pals, just as Lise and I were– I have no doubts about that... and I don't care how adult or not you think that is - or perhaps I do?

Till next Monday: hug a bear – make sure it’s a stuffed one, please...

            

Ready to ship:

6” x 9” (15 cm x 23 cm)

232 pages

Paperback $12.95 ($3.95 S&H)

USA Only (see below)

If you want to get your copy signed (who wouldn’t?) please E-Mail your name and full mailing address to:

steiness@sbcglobal.net

Signed copies can only be purchased through me
(well of course)

This book will soon be available through

amazon.com (USA)

amazon.com (United Kingdom)

amazon.com (Germany)

amazon.com (France)

amazon.com (Italy)

amazon.com (Spain)

It will also be available on Kindle (amazon) in a few weeks