A BETTER LIFE – only you decide

Advertising sell promises of longer lives, total elimination of any wrinkles, and firm up those droopy thighs by using magic lotions, etc. It’s a multi-billion dollar sucker-business. Why would I call it that? Because we have no chance to compare the difference between using these products with not using them. But we make those sucker-bets anyway, no matter how pathetic we must realize they are. Will those Spring-of-Youth pills actually make you look and feel younger, live longer? We’ll never know and only you can decide.

I often think about my life in the big picture. It makes me acknowledge where I come from, where I have been, where I am, while promoting chances as to how I can keep improving now and my future. I think that if I did not look back once in a while, my present life would go stagnant, repetitive, boring and would certainly limit the elbow room needed to move forward.

Of course the "what if?" question pops up: I think about all the “stuff” I have gone through, contemplating some of the decisions I made through the years and what those decisions created, where they got me. The choices I made when I got to the proverbial forks-in-the-roads, and of course wondering (fantasizing?) what would have happened if I had gone left instead of right. At times it’s a real cool trip through that big-picture thing; and often it’s confusing, as I missed opportunities on the way – of course; we all have.

I strongly believe that we for the most part are very much in control of our lives, what we want to do, where we want to go, what we feel we want to accomplish on so many levels. Sure it takes discipline, courage, assertiveness and a bunch of other things to guide us to the goals we set, but I am convinced that when we want something bad enough and accept the work it takes to achieve any of these goals, we can really get there.

We can’t go back and make changes; what’s done is done – and then we move on. Trying not to sound fluffy (too late, Peter) I decided many years ago that if I actually could go back, I would not make many changes; the reason being that I would probably not have met my wife – as simple (and fluffy) as that.

Sure I have past issues of embarrassments, pathetic behavior and several individuals I really wish I could go back and explain things to – then profusely apologize while begging for forgiveness. These issues might not have any concern to these people, things long forgotten and perhaps never remembered (Peter who?) but for me it was not cool – and for that I am sorry, and (pathetically) wish I could go back and repair.

I am convinced that the road we travel must be, should be and ought to be based on decisions we make and implement; it’s about being in control of our lives and therefore our future - it takes work, it really does.

But we also look at easy ways out. We substantiate not to do something, though we know it would be good for us if we did. Let’s say exercise; buying that hot new spandex exercise outfit is not making us fitter, no matter the exciting feeling of wearing tight-fitting spandex all over my body gives me on so many exciting (disturbing?) levels – oops, sorry got carried away a bit. But at least buying that spandex thing is a first step, part of being assertive. To get fitter we must of course exercise, which can actually be done without tight-fitting spandex; but trust me, it’s not as exciting… sorry, I did it again!

We wrinkle as we get older. For some, as in George Clooney and I, wrinkles look fabulously handsome, but most people resent this “cruel wrinkle joke” of nature (except George and I, of course). So there is a vast array of products, machines and things of all kinds and colors out there to “help” us. You are asked to apply this (wrinkle) creme 4 times daily, at $175 an ounce, of course. It will make your skin look smoother, younger and soft like a baby’s butt (I’m not sure about you, but is that the image you are going for? A baby’s butt - in your face?) Didn't think so...

So we smear this creme on any part of our bodies, spending hundreds of dollars or whatever currency; but we will NEVER know if it actually makes our skin feel and look younger if we DIDN’T use this product. How about washing that face with regular soap, massaging it a bit with a soft sponge? I bet you’ll get the same feeling – I do.

We pop pills that promises this and that, and we must be buying this stuff, because it’s really big business, profiting on vanity and our insecurities; to some extent I find it okay - and then I don’t.

I take daily vitamins, some supplements, extra C, D, B-complex, and the list is long. But I take this tongue-in-cheek, because I feel rather silly inhaling all this stuff. Now, if I had a split personality, I could feed all this (good!) stuff to one of me and nothing to the other me, this way I could compare notes, as in: does it really make a difference? So you see, it is with closed eyes and only bits of common sense that we rely on what the label is promising us, that the fountain of youth ‘really’ is in this bottle, at only $175 an ounce (cash, please).

I have met people who truly believe in some of these advertised powers and I can see how their trust (naive hope) is embedded to the point of making them feel good – or better? And I am all for that – okay, to a certain extent only. I have always believed that if we are strongly convinced about something, it does have a stronger effect on us, and for the most part in a positive manner – underlining: for the most part.

We make so many choices in our lives, especially early on, that will follow us till the very end. We consciously and/or unconsciously make utterly important life-style choices at an age where we should not have to make those important decisions; we are neither experienced nor mature enough to do so – another cruel side of nature, don’t you think? 

Early on we are relying on the planning of our life-model solely by the help of the people around us, from parents, peers, leaders, coaches and teachers, role-models, idols and heroes. The sad thing is that we ‘don’t get it’ at that early time in our life. Imagine if we had actually listened to some of the excellent advice our parents gave us – imagine if we had just listened to them, huh? And now we can’t go back and rewind, give it one more go – for real. And the circle keeps turning and now we are desperately trying to teach our own kids – and good luck with that, really…

A longer, better looking life does not come from inside a bottle, no matter what the label promises us. The longer, better quality and healthier life is the one created from inside ourselves – solely depending on how much we really want it and especially how much we really want to work for it to happen. 

Remember that nothing, absolutely nothing comes from inactivity or from just wanting it – no matter how bad we wish for it. Progress takes a lot of work, but that is the most fascinating part of life; it's not just getting there, but enjoying those tremendous and exciting travels it takes to get us there – every single step on the way

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So in that spirit, here is to your health, your happiness and an even better / longer life – really,

Peter

BAD NEWS IS GOOD NEWS?

It seems like it. Are we really so pathetically excited, so disturbingly interested in the negative sides of life? It seems to be, for the simple reason that we are constantly fed fatalities, crashing cars, airplanes, ships, mudslides, wars, terrorist attacks and the list is very long. We lick it up from newspapers (remember those?), television and Internet news programs; and they wouldn’t give us all this bad news if we were not reading, listening or watching. So they keep bombarding us with a dominating percentage of news that is bad – and that is not good news.

I do not watch television news-programs. The simple reason is that I do not trust the information they give me. There is so much obvious fluff and glorification, the eagerness of making their station and program more so entertaining than informative; film at eleven. The way the so-called anchor-people interact for the most part seems scripted, fake and tried; to me it is simply embarrassing, disrespectful and a blatant insult to the news they are supposed to cover, what really happened, the true information we could be interested in and from which we no doubt would learn something from.

Television news programs must obviously do well, meaning that enough people are watching – otherwise these programs would not be around; only the best, perhaps truest, would survive. So with the multitude of stations (here in the USA), there is this innate “competition” to be the most popular, so they all turn up the fluff to out-do their competitors. The news is being padded and inflated; the graphics and the pictures are getting more graphic – really. Under it all, the real news is buried, the news that might actually have had a bigger impact on us, if communicated in a straight line.

But obviously bad news is good business, and that is something the consumer (that would be you and I) obviously enjoy communicated. Or is that really so? I mean, what is it we can learn from bad news, from so MUCH bad news? You see, when we are being bombarded with endless fatalities, accidents, murders, etc. we become numb to that kind of stimulation. One person murdered is traumatic; a bus-load runs off the road and six people die – and that is of course terrible; a plane disappears and we go: “oh well…”? And when it’s hundreds or thousands of people vanishing due to war or terrorist attacks, famine and so far away from us, we do become ignorantly numb, like it’s too many and too much for us to comprehend – to care about? So where did our emotional judgment go?

Movies, television shows and most certainly video-games, underline the underbelly of society. There are too many guns and knives, so much shooting and blood, way many explicit and violent deaths, multitude of body parts flying all over the place. Yes, we (try to) acknowledge that this is just a movie, a show or a video-game - it is not real. But the gruesome fact is that we are still deeply affected by all this ‘not real’ stuff, so when it’s a ‘real’ local murder, the bus off the road, the wars and all that death, we do not react like we really should – with a much deeper compassion and concern and a much stronger urge to ‘get it fixed’, one way or another.

Sure I’m no Sigmund Freud (luckily, I don’t even look like him), but common sense dictates that our emotions with respect to the violent side of society, the way we might find ourselves ignorant more so than concerned, is a way to ‘protect’ ourselves for not going crazy; the “I’m glad it wasn’t me” syndrome. And I’m (disturbingly) okay with that, feeling “protected” that way to some extent.

But at times I am thoroughly influenced by some of this sad bad news. Several years ago I read about a young woman driving along a highway. She was reaching for a CD in the back-seat, for a split second not seeing where she was going. The car veered to the right and unto the side of the road, where four bicyclists were hit, mowed down and killed. Something we cannot and must not be flippant about – and news sources shouldn’t either.

I often think about this horrific accident, these two couples and best of friends, in their 50’s or so, enjoying a day together, getting exercise and fresh air – then brutally having their lives ended – while doing absolutely nothing wrong. Many times when I pass bicyclists on the side of the road, I see those four friends, and also think of the young woman who has to think about that moment, those people over and over the rest of her life – as well as so many other people who suffered and keep suffering; children, grandchildren, brothers and sisters, family and friends – on both sides; just so horrific. So I drive with more care – I really do.

In our everyday lives, are we more inclined to think ‘negative’ than ‘positive’? Do we more so dwell on other people’s bad luck than on their good fortune? Concerning good fortune for others, is the mixture of envy, jealousy and ‘why didn’t I win the lottery’ dominant? We do not voluntarily admit to such thoughts; instead we underline our full support and rejoice in somebody’s good fortune and luck (winning the bloody lottery) – and I really trust that we mean it; the good part.

When we hear of other peoples bad luck, I don’t think we feel good about it. I think that what is happening with us, is more so the feeling of momentary relief. Somebody is getting a divorce, got their car smashed up, and the list is long – bad stuff happening to other people, so we are simply relieved that it is not us – and then, for the most part, we do sympathize.

  

So it’s not that we are gloating when bad things happen to people around us, but it’s that brief relief, acknowledging that it didn’t happen to us; and I find that very okay and rather human, actually.

When real bad news hit close to home and disasters far away, I fully trust and believe that we are truly very compassionate as we really do care for people around us, even those we didn’t particularly care for before whatever happened; I see this again and again, and that is very encouraging – has always been. 

As much as ‘bad news’ seekers we might be, the good thing is that when it really counts, we do stand up and acknowledge the true sadness, the sorrow and unfortunate reasons; and then we do become understanding, caring and supportive – all in the name of the human spirit, and we might even have learned a thing or two; I think that is certainly good news – for all of us… Don’t you agree?