No matter how much we consider sun-ups, sun-downs,
death & taxes to be constant features in our lives, things we believe will never
change, the reality is that absolutely nothing stays the same – that’s why we
have the term: impermanence. This is an issue we should pay a lot more
attention to, because when we do, we will realize the importance of enjoying our
enjoyable moments a lot more, while we emotionally profit a bunch in addition from
our relationships and other important things around us. We think we have
friends forever, but we couldn’t be more wrong, because absolutely nothing
stays the same, even in that department, so be sure to enjoy those people and
those moments even more, please… impermanence says it all.
Sunrises and sunsets are often, as in always,
mentioned as one of the few staples in our life; we can count on the precise up
and down times, pretty much set our watches and clocks accordingly. But even
this constant in our days do change; okay, I admit some changes very slowly, but
it still changes. Death and taxes are sure things, I agree, but most certainly these
float all over the place and are certainly not staying the same, as
‘guaranties’ are supposed to do.
But my core point is, that by being so busy with
‘living’, we unfortunately forget some of the more important issues concerning
why we are here, for how long and what we actually could achieve and enjoy on an
even higher level, when we face, deal with and understand the issues of
impermanence.
When I read or think ‘impermanence’ I immediately see
‘taking things for granted’ in front of me. Not that I have lived like
perfection in that respect, but the term does pop up often. At times I cringe when
I feel I have forgotten to live with appreciation by my side, and I’m reminded
that I cannot afford to be lax and ignorant towards my relationships or stuff
around me; I must not take any of this for granted.
Close friends are not a dime a dozen; they don’t
grow on trees, as those real close friends are utterly unique and not somebody
we easily dispose of. We enjoy our close friendships for many reasons, which are
similar tastes, values and the list can be either long or short or somewhere in
the middle – whatever makes it work.
I have a few friends I call ‘close’; I know a lot of
people that I enjoy, but these close buddies and pals of mine are in the
‘unique’ group and that I never forget. When I hear the laughter, listen to the
conversations and enjoy an entertaining meal with them, I do recognize how
utterly lucky and fortunate I am, having friends like them, friends I truly
love and appreciate – and never take for granted.
But in the bigger picture, I also find that enjoying
those moments is a privilege that will eventually change at some point. Not of
my doing or because anybody wants the change or wants to make change, but
simply because absolutely nothing stays the same – impermanence; remember?
I relate these thoughts more so to relationships
than to anything else; family, spouses & partners, classmates, colleagues,
friends and so forth. ‘Things’ are different, as we are more in control of
what, where and why. We can pick and choose in that department, but with the
human contacts we are not that much in control – because things happen and do,
changing from one picture to another.
All relationships demand work, a lot of it, to
function. The more we value a relationship, the more work it takes. Taking any
relationship for granted makes it head towards dissolving; if that’s what you
want, go right ahead, but always weigh the importance this person or persons
are to you, as they are not so easily substituted with new ones – far from; so
do you really want to dispose of that friendship?
Spouses & partners have for the most part, in
one way or another, agreed to the ‘I do’ part, with all its trimmings. It’s
easy to say, but much more labor intense to live up to and actually do. I think
we split up too easily, being part of a society that throws out stuff instead
of trying to fix it. And ‘yes’, I do firmly believe that the way we relate to disposing
of materialistic things so easily, unfortunately reflects on us humans and the
way we handle our relationships when in crisis.
Why don’t we try to enjoy and appreciate our magic
and fun moments with friends and family and whoever we relish, a lot more? Why
don’t we just let that soft thought of ‘wow, I’m blessed, privileged and
fortunate to be here in this very moment’ float through our heads and hearts? I
do, but I should do it even more often. We are all seemingly busy with our
individual lives, but we should never be too busy to acknowledge our good
friends, family, spouses & partners and so forth. I do not think we can
afford to do that, as paying attention to how lucky we are more often than we
do, will make us a lot richer, so much richer in life.
I look at my wife and I appreciate her, I respect
her, I love her and I have never ever taken her for granted. I want to enjoy as
much of a good quality life with her as possible; fortunately ‘impermanence’
pops up in front of me enough times, that makes me acknowledge and enjoy all our
special moments even more – and how fortunate I am – are you fortunate as well?
Nothing stays the same, but luckily, when we
understand that notion, we can pay attention to what we like and what we love
and then try to make those grand moments and those wonderful people stay the
same a lot longer; please give it a go – Amen…
