SAME SEX MARRIAGE – what’s the big deal?

I prefer saying: same-gender-marriage, because with the part of society who is strongly against these unions, the major issue is that sex-thing. It’s the vision (imagination?) of same gender making love, making out or having sex that is looming rather big. But admitting that this is one of the reasons they are against same-sex-marriages (just part of being homophobic), is another story. So opponents cover up behind other explanations, still condemning true love, respect and trust by denying two human beings the right to a life together in Holy Matrimony, just because they are the same gender; don’t you think that's rather sad?

It was good to hear President Obama finally express his support of same sex/gender marriages. Did he take a political risk? Did he shoot himself in the foot? I seriously doubt it, because I have such a massive trust in how far most of us have come with respect to compassion for our fellow human beings – maybe that is a bit naïve, but that's what I believe.

So that is also why I am convinced that we have three answers to the question about same-gender-marriages: For it / Couldn't care less / Against it. The first two answers will be very dominant; no doubt about it.

Homosexuality has been persecuted for thousands of years; it has been illegal within many societies and countries and still is. But considering homosexuality a crime, even those many years ago, doesn’t make any sense to me at all. As with other issues and groups of people and individuals we so adamantly have been against through centuries (witch-hunts, the Jews, to name a couple of many) we have always “protected” ourselves by applying severe punishment of these so-called perpetrators. The core reason to this pathetic reaction, has always been ignorance; and that is unfortunately still a huge reason for our behavior, even today. But I believe (naïve again?) that due to today’s massive availability of information, we are becoming better educated and therefore less ignorant and less afraid of what we don't know.

It’s rather normal for us to be defensive about stuff we don’t really know much about; simply because we are uncomfortable and uncertain due to that ignorance thing, which means lack of knowledge; so we put our heels in the ground and place a derogatory opinion on the subject. Better to be safe than sorry, comes in handy. Becoming informed and then base our opinions on that, is a much better choice – don’t you think?

From other facets of life, some are told what to think and how it should be or not. What is true morality? Is it morally accepted or is it a sin? Gods, churches, priests, multitude of religions, the Vatican’s vast power, politics and interest groups, are setting the rules based on beliefs, faith and agenda. Faith followers can find shelter and safety in being told what to think and what you should worship and/or what to condemn. Makes it easier to have an opinion, no matter how ignorant that opinion might be to others – hence the opposition to (among many other issues) homosexuality…

Now don’t condemn me due to the above, because I have the highest respect for anybody who truly believe, follow and have faith in their religions, I truly do; to each his or her own (as long as it is legal, of course). And I expect to be respected for my point of view as well.

Do I fully embrace homosexuality? I do, but with a few exceptions (that’s not really embracing fully, is it Peter?) I do not like gay-pride parades, because I have never felt that any shove-it-in-your-face demonstrations are necessary. If you have pride in your sexuality, that’s great, but I don’t need any of the parades. And don’t expose heavy duty making out in front of me, as I find it done mostly for demonstrative reasons – so what’s the point other than making me feel uncomfortable? Don’t get me wrong, the same goes for heterosexual demonstrations of “just-because-we-can”. I’m an equal opportunity whiner – so take that.

Oh, this reminds me of the first time I was made aware of a person’s homosexuality. This was back in Denmark and I was probably around 21. This guy pointed at Jan, a new employee I had just hired: “Peter, you hired a fruitcake.” Fully understanding what he meant, I clearly remember my response: “Merry Christmas…” And in a nut shell, that was how little it meant to me back then; and it means even less to me today. I have never understood what the big deal is.

For those who are strongly against homosexuality (Adolf Hitler was one some years back), I can only say that I do respect their opinions (not Hitler’s, though), but only if I can get a logical and non-ignorant reasoning for this resentment, please; I'm all ears.

To clear up a bit of myth: NO you do not go to Gay & Lesbian Camp to learn the trade; NO being brought up by homosexual parents will not make you one-of-them. Just because I see a good looking male (being a male myself, and very heterosexually so, though not that good looking) and I say “Wow, he’s a good looking young man” or something like that, doesn’t make me gay (only if you mean happy or lively). NO, if your work colleague Linda is a lesbian and you are a heterosexual woman, doesn’t mean that she’ll jump your bones first chance she gets. NO, homosexuality is not abnormal, sick, perverted nor curable. Perhaps you can pretend NOT being a homosexual by staying in the proverbial closet and unfortunately many do - not a good way to live life, is it?

Then we have all the extremes, as in anything; but please don’t judge all homosexuals (or heterosexuals, or any other group in our society) by what one idiot individual, who is craving attention to his or her person does (why I dislike gay-pride parades), because that is not only ignorant, but also a bit pathetic - on both sides.

You see, the reality is that as with heterosexuals, homosexuals are just the same normal and mundane human beings. We all get up in the morning, go to the bathroom, we shower, we dress, we eat breakfast, we go to work, we eat lunch, we work some more, and then we go home and for the lucky ones, we meet up with that very special person we love, we respect and cannot (and do not want to) imagine what our life would be without. If that is Frank & Harry, Alice & Ellen, Kenneth & Cathy or Linda & Robert, should not have any form of importance, because the mix or no-mix of genders doesn’t make a difference - because we are all human beings.

Same gender relationships, from handholding to marriage, make sense to me. Because I believe that one of the most powerful rights we have as human beings, is the power and the euphoria that comes with falling in love, finding that special soul mate, no matter what color, what nationality, what faith, what creed, values or convictions – and no matter what gender combination; because it is really not that big of a deal.

When each of us respects diversity

we will ALL get stronger together

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LIFE AS IT REALLY IS

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