POETRY OH POETRY - yeah, whatever

"Exit wide - seashells old

infancy proximity

gallant colors - power-brakes

penguins called in pairs

silence at a roar – closing when it's open

surrealistic feel anxieties"

I don’t like poetry. Avant-garde is way extreme; to me it’s a bunch of confusion and secret codes only poets understand, which I doubt they even do. Classic poetry and your basic greeting card stuff is too fluffy and tear-jerker corny.

With poetry we tend to pretend that we “get it” and we "like it" because we don’t want to look stupid or ignorant; for most of us, that's because we don't quite understand it. Maybe we should try: "oh great stuff" and hope that it will all go away. I can’t pretend, because that is not who I am and also because I’m so totally not interested in poetry - because I don't understand the WHY?

It goes da-da-da-da-da-da for the longest time and that is simply too boring. Why can't they just say what they want to say without having every other line rhyme and at times not even that? Don't get me wrong, I fully understand the important place poetry has in literature, but that doesn't mean I have to like it, does it?

Read this next poem with a slow, deep and sensuous voice - if you dare; that will underline the romantic tone the poet is seeking. If you are a bit shy, practice reading these lines to your cat or bunny, before risking other humans, okay? Remember, slow and rhythmic, here you go:

"I swim in eyes so endless blue

My being - reaching, wanting you

Your gentle touch, so feathery

So deep it searches for my soul

My Dearest God, can this be true

Adoringly in love with you"

  

So did you get into it? Did it feel right, warm and cuddly? But more importantly, did you swoon Fluffy? I cannot read anything like this without laughing, so I can't buy into it, also for the reason that the above poems suck high heaven. And I can say that because I wrote both of them in less then 5 minutes; that's how easy it is. If you sit down and try this yourself, you'll find that there is nothing to it - seriously; how important does that make it? No offense.

In the late 1960's  I was utterly infatuated with this female person. She was heavily into poetry and dragged me to an evening of poetry reading; I would have followed her anywhere. The room was full of… whatever. The lights were low and then one after the other went up in front of the microphone and recited some lines of words in no particular order. When they finished, the crowd went crazy – and I had no clue why. It all seemed so pretentious to me; but due to this girl, I hypocritically applauded like an idiot. “Did you like it?” she asked with moist eyes. “It was awesome,” I lied. “What part?” “All of it,” I blurted out, tightening the noose. She saw right through me and I was dumped accordingly that very moment. I had never been dumped before, and found it didn't feel good. After that short evening, I despised poetry even more - makes sense?

Ignorant and shallow, you say – and I proudly say yes to both. You see, the weird thing is that I like abstract paintings. The complexities and the simplicities, the explosions of colors and forms; the kicker is that it does not open up much logic for me. So why do I not find anything in a poet’s non-figurative words or even in simple words?  “Open up, Peter,” I hear you say, but I did try and I didn’t like what I read or heard. It is too much The Emperor’s New Clothes syndrome, which to me translates into if you don’t get it, you are stupid; fair enough. But I would rather appear stupid than not be honest.

And it’s not just poetry that gets the massive pretend-I-like-it treatment. I have been to enough concerts of "new" music where I felt the so-called composer had no idea what to write, play or create, but did it anyway. And then, unfortunately, some self-elected music-critic cowering behind the walls of an esteemed newspaper writes how glorious the piece was and then we all go: it was heaven on earth; how right he is. But we still know it was crap. So why don’t we just call it like the little boy did, when he pointed out that the Emperor was actually walking through his kingdom in his nightie and not the fancy clothes the con-tailors had said he was wearing? Because they said that if you couldn’t see it, you were stupid. But the little boy had obviously not received the memo about that. Honesty prevailing - that's the ticket.

YES, I admit I wrote some poems back then. My first "serious" one was at age 12; BRAVE YOUNG SOLDIER. Even when I read it today, because it is unfortunately still so related, I get teary eyed. It's the truth in the poem that gets me; not that I wrote it.  

We have so many choices and options in our everyday life and we have an equal quantity of opinions about every single one of them. For some reason we tend to be hesitant expressing what we really feel and think in too many cases, for the most so not to hurt somebodies feelings. But trying to be nice, doesn't that make us a bit dishonest? To me poetry sucks, so why should I tone that down so nobody gets their feelings hurt (WAH WAH WAH). Okay, so I don't have many friends and this attitude has probably a lot to do with it. But I prefer to be friendless than being dishonest and have friends - see what I mean?

My taste is not the same as my wife's in some areas, but I have never played Mr. Nice-Guy by lying about my opinion when asked. So we have stuff in the house that I'm not wild about; I'm more so ecstatic about it, because those things makes my wife happy. And in the end, isn't that what we all want to do - make each other happy, using honesty? No matter how bad the poems suck - at least I'm honest about it, friendless or not... (Thanks high heavens for Facebook, huh?)

See you next Monday

DON'T MISS...

Some years back I got an assignment in a creative writing class I took here in Santa Rosa. Write a poem, was the order. As I couldn’t do the hypocritical thing, I decided to write a poem about how I don’t like poetry. I liked that idea because at least I was honest up front; what more can you ask – really. It's called POETRY OH POETRY. If you want to read this so-called poem, click here and it will take you to my Web-Site and the correct page: http://petersteiness.com/1522.html

GIGGLE OF THE WEEK - perhaps

She said: "You look familiar."

He smiled: "I hear that a lot - especially from my wife..."

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