NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS – an A for effort

We make them and we break them – seems to be the universal pattern, but let’s give ourselves at least an A for effort (in the USA, an A is equivalent to a top grade academically or a 4.0 – so now you know).

New Year Resolutions are as old as the birth of Homo sapiens (as in early man, woman, child, small dogs and bunnies named Fluffy). Though I wasn’t around at the time, I can only trust that we have always had this urge to do better, keep moving forward and improve ourselves. That’s why we have sliced bread, cell-phones and flushing toilets. For the most we let other Homo sapiens do the heavy lifting, though most of us normal sapiens are involved in that process constantly, one way or another. But one thing we all do before a new year begins, is getting a list together concerning how we would like to improve our own lives, make things better and enhance the world around us the next twelve months; and that is so cool - don’t you think?

Options are that we can announce our resolutions to everybody (which is really stupid; does accountability ring a bell?) write them on a secret piece of paper, carve them in stone as Moses did or keep them stored between your ears, risk-free. Whatever way, we all participate on some level; yes, even you.

Resolutions (the act of solving or determine) are made to improve ourselves, and that is where it all starts. The better we feel about ourselves, the better we get along with the people around us. Feeling good about ourselves first, makes the proverbial ball roll in the right direction.

The annual New Year Resolution is the Mother of All Resolutions. It’s where we aim big, and way big for the most: I will lose 164 pounds (and I need it), build a new 2 story summer-residence using only home-baked yellow bricks, learn six Chinese dialects and find the true cure for hiccups. Even extreme effort is not going to help you with that list, but I’ll still respect you for trying – really.

Under the Mother of All Resolutions we could set lesser goals, lower the bar to reach success; I can swing with that. But instead of just one huge unattainable “gee, I-really-want-to” challenge, why don’t we just split this resolution thing up in 365 equal parts (that’s pretty much one mini resolution every day for a year, huh?) It all adds up…

You might want to make the legendary beauty pageant wish PEACE ON EARTH your main focus. This wish is always expressed with the naïve hope that it might actually happen (yeah, good luck with that); it makes Peace on Earth sound like a Piece of Cake to accomplish. But a solution to this is actually right in front of us. Peace on Earth starts with you and me. When we have peace within ourselves, it will spread to our spouses, children, family, bunnies named Fluffy, neighbors, the tax-collector and then one day we finally have PEACE ON EARTH – it could happen; at least we should do our best to make it happen; are you with me on that? Mini resolutions is the answer.

Give yourself a few minutes in the morning to make sure that you have planned something to improve your day, to improve yourself and build a bit more foundation for your future, your happiness, whatever it is you are seeking (as long as it doesn't involve the judicial system or the police). In the evening you take a few minutes to go over what you did that day and especially how it made you feel. Daily resolutions are the way to succeed as you reach immediate goals that will satisfy you instantly; Piece of Cake. Now go do it…

Last year I called my resolutions: The Ten Demandments of Peter. No, gentle reader this is personal stuff, so there. But I did do an addendum: BE HAPPIER & BE NICER. That is not to say that I’m not happy or that I’m a crappy person to be around, it’s just a reminder that no matter how happy or how nice I am, I can always do better – we all can.

New Year Resolutions are great, they really are. The reason is that we have determined to improve, whatever that improvement involves. We are stating that we can actually do better and that admission in itself is golden; makes you feel good and giggly, doesn’t it?

Some resolutions die fast: Cut down on alcohol, swearing and don’t eat so much, falter around 4:30 PM January 1, but we still get an A for effort. Okay a bit extreme, but not far from the truth, huh? So we learn to set goals we can and want to reach, we put in the extra effort that soon becomes no effort at all – and we will succeed. The more we strive to succeed, the easier it gets, and by December 31, 365 days later, we realize that we did improve our lives, we did move forward. If that was just a few small steps or that 164 pounds of weight loss we aimed at (and good luck with that too), whatever size of improvement, you are adding up successes and are ready to do it again.

Peace on Earth would be heaven, really; the cure for cancer likewise and the list is long. To make it all happen, consider how important those New Year Resolutions you make for yourself are for the world around you. When we all do our share, who knows what will happen? And don’t fret about not living up to all your resolutions, remember instead that you did try your best and that in itself is a huge A for effort – seriously.

A VERY HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS 2012

TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILIES

PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING POST:

I have published two posts this Monday. The following is of a more serious nature and I would really like you to read it. If you do not have time now, please find time another day. MICHAEL – we’ll always have Paris means a lot to me and I’m sure you’ll have some thoughts to ponder after you have read it. Thank You…

MICHAEL – we’ll always have Paris

We find friends in the strangest places. I like listening to “how we met…” stories; there are so many fun variations. Here’s my true story about how I met my good buddy Michael some 38 years ago – and I will never forget it.

It was a clear Saturday in Paris, February 1974. I had been away from home (Copenhagen) for a week, and due to delays in negotiations, I had to stay over the weekend. My boss had fled the city and left his girlfriend Gretchen for me to entertain (aka: babysitting) till she was flying back to Frankfurt Sunday afternoon. So I was not a happy camper; boredom sat in quickly. How can you be bored in Paris? I know, it sounds rather ignorant; but I was tired and homesick. But then Gretchen actually had a good idea – “Let’s sightsee, ja?” In German, of course – and we did.

I traveled to Paris a lot those years, but had never done the tourist bit, other than art galleries and museums. So the Eiffel Tower was the first stop on the list. We took the stairs and Gretchen won – granted, she was a lot younger than I; probably still is. The view of Paris was spectacular. The Seine snaking its way between beautiful buildings I had only seen from street level; it was awesome.

And then I saw this man talking with this woman. As I got closer, it was obvious they were Americans. I walked towards them with a big smile.

“I’m sorry, but I assume you are Americans?” He smiled as the woman looked hesitant.

“That’s right – Long Beach, California…” I flashed a picture ID in his general direction, giving him no time to see what it was (my library-card, actually).

“I’m working with a sub-division of the Danish government and we specialize in selling landmarks and tourist attractions worldwide…” A distinct smirk was soon plastered on his face, so I continued. “We are in the process of finding a connection in the U.S. that might be interested in purchasing this very structure, the original Eiffel Tower…”

“We already have the Spruce Goose and the Queen Mary in Long Beach…” He smirked, playing along.

“There you go – it would fit right in… Would you be interested in talking more about it – maybe over lunch? I know a quaint Chinese restaurant next to the Opera – they are closed now, but I’m sure they’ll let us in; I know the owners…” He smiled and nodded.

“Could we possibly make the Little Mermaid part of the deal?” I looked pretend speculative.

“That might be a possibility – I’ll talk with her about it…” Then we chatted about their vacation in Europe on the way down in the elevator; his name was Michael and hers was Linda.

Both Gretchen and Linda had been standing listening with their mouths hanging open and with fear in their eyes. It got worse when I hailed a couple of taxis. Back then taxis didn’t take more than a max of three passengers, so we had to split up. I suggested Gretchen and Linda go in one and Michael and I in the other. I told the drivers where to go and off we went. Gretchen and Linda were rather frightened that very moment as being kidnapped for white slavery was clearly on their minds – go figure!

We reunited in front of the restaurant and it was closed. But I knocked on the door, the owner opened with a smile and we spent the next 4 hours chatting away and having a grand time – laughing was the main ingredients of this long meal.

Michael and I hit it off the second we started talking. His humor was dry, intelligent and quick – we got along very well and we knew we would be close friends; we were already close friends. But the day ended and I was back in Copenhagen Monday evening. At 3AM Tuesday morning the phone rang – it was Michael.

“So how the (bleep) are you?”

“It’s 3AM…”

“It’s 6PM here. Doesn’t matter, you had to answer the phone anyway…” And he called me often and purposely early morning. “I could call you later, but I don’t feel like it…” And that was Michael.

The following June I traveled the USA for weeks and stayed with Michael and Linda in Long Beach 5-6 of those days – just hilarious times. The following year I immigrated to the USA and stayed with Michael and Linda until I found an apartment in Marina Del Rey. That was 10-14 days; hilarious times constantly. We couldn’t say much to each other without cracking some line of whatever. I stayed in Southern California about five years and we had a good, solid and fun friendship – I absolutely adored Michael. But then things changed, but stayed the same, as they say.

I moved to Washington and we didn’t connect much, but I thought about Michael a lot through the many years. Then I got married, had kids, started a business, you know, all that stuff that makes you sit back some day and say: “What the heck happened?” 28-29 years went by – just like that; while our relationship was hibernating.

A couple of years ago, we had some friends over for dinner and the phone rang. We normally do not answer calls when we have guests, but for some weird reason I excused myself and picked it up.

“You’ll never know who the (bleep) this is?” I nearly fainted.

“It’s (bleeping) Michael. How the heck are you?” and we chatted for a bit and hooked up again the next day for a long time on the phone. He told me about his life and I told him about mine. We exchanged E-Mail addresses and phone-numbers and all that. One of the most wonderful days of my life – Michael and I were back together; wow!  But I still didn’t see him for a long time – but that was okay too.

We had been on a cruise with some good friends and were driving north from San Diego. I had asked if it was okay to stop by and see if Michael was home, surprising him. I remember the street and the house; he had lived there way over 30 years at least. As I got out of my car, Michael came out of the house and walked towards his car; perfect timing. I flashed (yet again) a picture ID, holding it high over my head like they do in the movies and said in a loud and demanding voice:

“Please stand back from the vehicle, Sir…” He looked up somewhat startled, but proceeded to unlock his car.

“If it isn’t (bleeping) Peter B. Steiness…” We were quickly in a warm embrace. It was heaven seeing my good buddy again. Then we all sat in the living room chatting like it had only been yesterday we saw each other last; you know, that kind of friendship, huh? And my wife took a photo of us, this lovely and wonderful man and me; I felt so rich.

It had been a month or so that we hadn’t communicated. I had on my TO DO list: “call Michael”, which I again postponed a few days – so busy. I had talked with my wife that I would go down and visit Michael in Long Beach next spring or summer. She thought it was a good idea; and then the phone rang.

Michael had died a few days ago. I don’t know from what, as I could not speak after receiving this terrible news. I could barely ask if the caller could get hold of me when the funeral arrangements had been made – because I have to be there; I must be there – for my buddy and for me; I cried and I cried for the longest time.

I am so privileged to have known Michael, this sweet man with the huge heart and the driest sense of humor. He enjoyed his wife Shirley, his children and his grandchildren, but he was so far from done with living – so very far from; where’s the fairness in that? Though we had a “sporadic” friendship at best, it was one we enjoyed and thrived on when we were on – no doubts about that. And we did love each other, though I can hear Michael say: “(Bleep) that (bleep)...”

But life goes on; for me it is emptier without him here, not to be able to hug him and to laugh with him. A few very special people are in my heart; Michael has been a permanent residence since that glorious February day in 1974 on top of the Eiffel Tower. I miss you so much, my Dear Pal, and we’ll always have Paris…

Don’t you have a friend you need to call? Nothing lasts forever, you know; there’s a New Year resolution for you…

Till next Monday…

My Dear Pal Michael & me, October 2009