I DO LOVE YOU - BUT NOT THAT WAY

I have a problem with the way you so loosely use the word LOVE. And I say YOU as I do not freely throw it around as frivolously as most people do.

Growing up in Denmark I cannot recall a single time my parents verbally expressed that they loved me – not once. When I finally told my mother I loved her, I was perhaps 40 years old; there was a long pause on the line and then a sweet and soft voice: I love you too, Peter (in Danish, of course). That was the first and last time ever. But around here the LOVE word is exploited and pushed around and in my opinion, being brutally stripped from what it should really mean and therefore denied the only way we should use it, which is in a much more serious manner - in my opinion.

Endearment, devotion, adoration, fondness, affection, warmth, closeness, intimacy, attachment, passion, infatuation, crush, etc. are just a few of the words related to LOVE. The writer dude Ralph Waldo Emerson looked very highly upon the true meaning of LOVE (as I do) and wrote this about it: “Our highest word and the synonym of God…” Okay, that’s a bit much, but you get the idea.

Of course LOVE also has meanings of action: Make out, kiss, cuddle, neck, embrace, make love, romance, have sex, and my all-time favorite: Have the hots for… Plato (some Greek dude who lived around a very long time ago), and I think a bit more alike concerning our interpretation of the LOVE-word: “Desire for beauty which should transcend the physical… and then attachment and something sexual...” You follow? Or is this all Greek to you?

Plato was only somewhat correct, so I'll give you my much deeper and self-made philosophy concerning the meaning of LOVE: “If I can kiss it – and it can kiss me back, then I can say I love it - if I want to (that would be human beings… now now, don’t get all giggly on me). So you see it doesn’t fit with “I LOVE my car, dress, movie, bacon cheeseburger, property taxes", or whatever you want to make it. I can’t LOVE my car, because according to my own philosophy it also means being intimate with, so that would be really weird, nearly impossible and should be illegal in most states. You see, my car won’t kiss me back; nothing personal, I’m sure… So I can’t LOVE my car, but I can LIKE it (and I do).

I must admit that to some extend I am wrong concerning the way you so freely use LOVE, with a bit of confusion in the mix. When one girlfriend tells another girlfriend that she loves her, it seems fine and acceptable. But if a male friend tells another male friend that he loves him, for the most that would be awkward (depending on sexual preference, of course). I do understand that when you say: “I LOVE your outfit”, it’s not because you want to have a passionate physical relationship with it – I hope. So you see that I’m not totally lost, just a bit confused - duh!

But looking around I am still trying so hard not to cringe and giggle when Frank, weighing in at 380 pounds, smelly and rather hairy in weird places, tells me he loves his 4X4 Chevy truck, because in my twisted mind that is not a pretty picture. But I do try to accept that what he is actually saying is, that he likes his truck, and really doesn’t have the hots for it, that way – I hope. I’m getting better at understanding.

I love my wife and have found that there are not enough words to describe how much I love her. That’s when I see the true power in that single word LOVE, as it does (according to me) cover every description possible and beyond.

Writing all this actually makes me feel better, as I begin to see that you might be right and I might be somewhat wrong (that would be the second time I’m wrong in the last 4 years), but still and in spite of that, you will never hear me use LOVE loosely.

John and Paul wrote a sweet line in one of their last Beatles songs:

“And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.”

However corny, I do believe it is true – I have to, according to my philosophy.

Just for you, I’m going to say this, but only once ever, so pay attention:

I do love you – but not that way (sorry Frank…)


Remember this week, that we all look terrific when we smile :)