Mother’s Day is big business and not just here in
the USA. In every country where this holiday is celebrated, noisy cash-registers
and large profits go hand-in-hand. Rolling out raw cynicism, no problem in this case, I am appalled because as consumers, we
are ‘advised’ that this is for our mothers,
so how dare we not spend billions in any currency to celebrate her? There is nothing
like guilt to get us going, unfortunately. But of course, you and I are not
tricked so easily - are you?
Anna Jarvis started a campaign back in the days (that
would be 1905) to make Mother’s Day a recognized holiday here in the USA.
Persistent Anna succeeded and the first Mother’s Day holiday was in 1908. With
a slogan like: “The person who has done more for you than anyone else in the
world”, you would run out and get a huge bunch of overpriced roses immediately
- wouldn’t you?
I’m okay with ‘holidays’ or more so ‘days of
remembrance’; for the most part they have a sincere importance and a true
purpose historically – something we must not forget, a time, a place or a
person of the past we should keep honoring and truly remember for various
reasons; but shouldn't we 'remember' mom every day?
The commercialization of Mother’s Day and the like
(Valentine’s Day, Father’s Day and so forth) is so out of hand. Sure none of
those mothers (or fathers or those involved on Valentine’s Day) has anything
against the attention, the chocolate or the flowery arrangements, so I’m fine
with that. But seriously to me, the other 364 days of the year are also
Mother’s Days – or at least they should be; don’t you think?
I have been fortunate to have had and still have a
good relationship with my Mother. It sounds blasé when I tell you that we are
more-so friends than we are parent/child, but that is the truth and how it has
felt for so long. We have always had great respect for each other and have
never even tried to interfere in each others lives. Perhaps my Mother
communicated more specific issues when I was a kid, but I cannot remember that.
As I grew up and out of school and into the world of labor and career, I cannot
recall a single time my Mother questioned what I was doing or that she ever came up
with ‘career’ suggestions about this or that – not a single time.
I always found that my Mother approved of what I was
involved with, and who I personally connected to. I cannot recall a single
incident where my Mother tried to correct my choices – not a single time. Okay,
so now she sounds like Mother Theresa’s twin-sister; and that just makes me
smile – and perhaps agree?
My Mother lives in a nice elder-care facility in Denmark. She
was diagnosed with dementia some years back. She cannot remember what you just told
her or what she did a minute ago, but she does have some long-term memory
intact. It was her birthday a few days back and she figured out that she is 94
because she can remember she was born in 1920.
I call my Mother 3-4 times every week (you chat with
your mother often? The ‘guilt’ thing, huh?) Before the dementia diagnoses, we
would chat about 20-30 minutes on an average; opinions, stories and updates
flying back and forth. I still call my Mother 3-4 times every week, but our
calls are more like 5-10 minutes; I learned quickly not to challenge her
memory, but more-so tell her how we are doing here, around the house, trips, travel and trivial things; about the boys, the pets, what we experience, etc. She likes that; but the very moment
she hangs up, she cannot remember a thing.
MY MOTHER
I love my Mother – a lot. There are a lot of her
character, her values and her decency that I see in myself. No, giggling
reader, I’m not Mother Theresa’s brother to any extent, but when I look at
where more of ME came from, it’s from my Mother, not from my Father.
I find myself celebrating my Mother a lot. From our
conversations, no matter how limited they have been in substance the last many
years, through the weekly letter I write and mail her, but also from all the
other chats, from so many calls and visits through our life together – going on
nearly 68 years (OMG what the heck happened?) So in a way, and trying desperately not
to sound fluffy, there is a bit of Mother’s Day in every day – for me and her;
and then I tell her – because I also love her all those other 364 days; sounds
familiar?
Mother’s
Day
has been ‘adopted’ by nations all over the world. Though the countries of
Scandinavia are pretty good pals and work together on many issues, streamlining
that part of the world, I’m sorry to say that synchronizing the time for
Mother’s Day has failed. This year Denmark is doing the USA thing by announcing
Mother’s Day on May 11. Sweden is doing it a tad later on May 25
and Norway decided that Mother’s Day should be in the armpit of winter, so why
not February 9.
And back to Anna Jarvis. It didn’t take long from
the installation of Mother’s Day, for business’ to see the huge possibilities
and profits, so they quickly started the (non-romantic) commercialization of
this day, which happened about 9 to 10 years after 1908. As the initial idea
Anna had concerning celebrating mothers drowned in commercialism, she got in a
crappy mood and spent a lot of time fighting to get the profiteers off the streets. She was so angry, that just shortly before she died at the age of 84,
she got herself arrested for disturbing the peace, while demonstrating against
Mother’s Day’s commercialism – way to go, Anna.
We have all been connected to a mother at some point.
Some mothers vanished on the way; some didn’t make good parents and perhaps other
issues that doesn’t cause for celebration. But to all you good mothers out
there, you have been and you are doing terrific jobs. Motherhood is not a piece
of cake to any extent, as so much is involved, too much to even touch here. The
proverbial hundreds of hats you are wearing is a book all by itself.
Parenthood by itself is not easy when you want to do
a good job. Motherhood is not easy at all – no matter what. I have the greatest
respect for any mother; I am in awe as to how they make it work, as so much is
involved on so many levels. I see pregnant women and how they glow expectations and how
utterly beautiful they are. And then I see the feeling of trust and utter
commitment in their faces, that no matter what, they will work hard to become
the best caring mother ever.
The nurturing, the caring and care, the love and the respect coming from our mothers, has been and is so essential for all of us. So only one day of acknowledgement? Let's make it 365, shall we?
So
to all you great mothers:
HAPPY
MOTHER’S 365-DAYS A YEAR DAY
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