Of course it was the French who came up with the term cheating; perhaps they really needed it? It popped up in the late 14. Century, but was more so used as a trade term. If you are taking notes, cheating is from Old French. But today we consider cheating a rather different animal.
So Bob (not his real name), has been married 12
years, two kids (one of each), cable TV, life insurance, trampoline in the back
yard, as well as a couple of neutered pets and bowling every Wednesday. If you
ask Bob, it’s a comfortable life – rolling along.
On one of Bob’s business trips, he ends up sitting
next to a hot number from Kentucky. She is going to Chicago for a few nights –
just like Bob. During the three hour flight, several small bottles of wine, gin
and tonics, lots of chatter, laughs and (yes) innocent flirtation, they
exchange hotel information and cell phone numbers as they pick up their
luggage.
In retrospect, Bob would have been happy leaving it at
that, though he did think about her energy and freshness, packed in a hubba
hubba body. He giggled a bit intoxicated as he grabbed his suitcase; and then
Bob moved on – after all “I’m married”,
he more so assured himself.
After a full day of meetings, Bob ended up in the
hotel’s bar. It was lively and loud and full of fun. As he was chatting with a
colleague through several drinks, his cell vibrated and it was her. She was in
the neighborhood, so could he buy her a goodnight drink. In all fairness to
Bob, he did hesitate a second (though only a second), but slurred: “Come on
down”; and she sure did.
As I consider all
my readers top-notch intelligent with grand imaginations to boot (how could
you?) let’s save time and cut to the next morning.
Bob’s hotel
room looked like it had been the center of a wild and hot night (notch notch).
She was still sleeping as he quietly did the shower and getting dressed thing
real fast. She opened her eyes and smiled, and Bob smiled back, but not his
true Bob-smile. He actually felt terrible and not just from the alcohol, but
from massive guilt. He was fully aware that he had strayed and now it would be
time to pay.
She had to pay as well, by dealing with her husband
back in Kentucky. As Bob, she had no idea what to do, because as Bob, this had
been the very first time she had physically cheated beyond heavy flirting; she
realized, as did Bob, that the next step was not going to be fun. They both
thought: Oh my God, but smiled
bravely. I hope this does not ring any bells with you out there, huh?
Linda (not her real name either) and Bob all of a
sudden acknowledged, that getting to the sex part had been easy as they had
been physically attracted to each other within
the environment and under the
circumstances they had met. Waking up the proverbial morning after was so totally different and filled with guilt and
many: “Why did I let this happen?” and not related to how great or not the sex
had been. You see, the sex part of the cheating
is of course the sole reason for the massive complications that one moment of
lust creates. I think that if we (actually) thought about those consequences
BEFORE hopping into bed with someone other than our significant other, cheating
would become a rarity – I fully trust it would; perhaps a bit naïve? And don’t
give me the “but I was drunk” bit –
it doesn’t count.
What Linda and Bob had done was breaking a trust
they used to have with their respective spouses. The core of any relationship
is trust; if it’s in a marriage or
union or partnership, girlfriend/boyfriend, and any other “agreement” that
includes “just the two of us” and
that “till death do us part” thing
(or I kill you, cheater - perhaps?) To
me, a broken trust is extremely
tough to repair.
It’s not just that Linda and Bob momentarily were (miss)-guided
by organs other than their common sense, but if they had thought about it for a
few moments, alcohol or no alcohol, they would have seen the havoc and
complications a night of selfish frolic would cause their lives and not just
THEIR lives, but so many lives (and neutered pets) around them. But they did
stray and now they realized it was time to pay –oh my, oh my.
The ones being cheated are basically getting screwed even
more; okay not the same way Linda and Bob went about it, but you know what I
mean. Besides broken trust, the believability of Bob has gone; his blatant
disrespect for his wife Carole (actually her real name), is hurtful and
seriously makes her wonder: “His first time? Will this continue as a (cheating)
affair?” As an otherwise role-model father, how could he even fathom that his
inconsiderate ways of showing lack of responsibility concerning his children
would ever be forgiven? So you see it’s not just the moment of the
roll-in-the-hay, but much more the aftermath that must and should make us
think: “Is this really going to be worth it?”
Bob keeps pleading with his wife, asking forgiveness
and expressing in tears how sorry he is – how much he loves her and confess he
is a moronic idiot (which Carole fully agree with). Though we can more so
easily forgive, we can never as easily forget – that’s the tricky bit; and that
is precisely the core of the future rocky days in Carole and Bob’s marriage, which
used to be close to perfect. So Bob, was it worth it?
Of course situations vary. Some cheating is expanded
upon, referred to as affairs, lasting longer than the one-night-stand. Cheaters
have thousands of “excuses” why they cheated or cheat; for them valid reasons,
for others pathetic irresponsibility. But the why will not negate the eventual day they have to fess up and pay,
while acknowledging the collateral damage, if they are not too ignorant.
Apropos
these days: Especially cheating politicians are pathetic; is
it because they feel they have some kind of “power” immunity? Or do they float
above the (stupid?) voters feeling nothing can touch them and they will be
forgiven when their infidelities are bared? How about they start realizing that
they are also screwing their voters? It’s pathetic and so utterly ignorant. But
as most cheaters, they are more so guided by egotism and genitals, when they
should follow common sense, decency and brains. So if they can’t figure that out, how about asking Bob?
Handy
Footnote: Linda was devastated. As Bob, she could not hide
her indiscretion and confessed to her husband as she returned home. Though he
was shattered, as he loved her so dearly, they found a way to move on. Linda
now realized her husband to be even more the man she had been in love with all
those years. (Gee, I’m such a sucker for happy endings; aren’t you?)
Thanks
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