We all do it – again and again; watching and of course, being watched. We do it on purpose and we do it unconsciously, automatically, as well as by simple, natural reaction. Whenever there is a minimum of two people in one place (or one person with a mirror), we watch – intensely; but do you know why we do it?
My shorter version of a long scientific explanation is that we simply observe our fellow human beings and their interactions. Before I continue, let’s get one thing straight: if you find yourself getting any form of sexual gratification or sexual arousal from this observation bit, you are performing voyeurism (naughty - naughty) and that is not what people watching is about; at times the line between the two is very thin. If you watch and drool, you are crossing that line. I’ll get back to that a bit later.
Academically, the term naturalistic observation is fitting, as it means watching stuff, like animals (as some of us are called at times) in their natural habitat. And that is precisely what we are doing when we people-watch.
Be careful when you coincidentally listen to peoples conversations as you watch them. This is known as eavesdropping (which is one of the weirdest words ever; don’t you think?) In some cases this eavesdropping thing, can actually be caught as being an illegal activity, as you are listening to private conversations without the consent of the participants – how could you?
Why are we people watching? We find it relaxing, enjoyable, fascinating, informative, utterly interesting, a grand way to pass time, inspirational and it can also be constructive. It jiggles our senses of wonder and amazement, has a bit of social interaction (no matter how one directional it is for the most part) and many other descriptive reasons. And none of us are watching and seeing the same things; isn’t that just mesmerizing?
I think curiosity is one of the two main reasons we watch; being fun is the other and that is why I’m out there goggling. And we can do it anywhere and anytime; I mean, how convenient is that?
I can’t say I have a favorite spot from where to people-watch. I prefer the small sidewalk café on a busy street in Rome, to the food-court in our local mall, but only because of the many glaring differences. It’s still people watching, no matter where we do it.
You see, the thing is that we are fascinated with watching, because we, the people, are fascinating to watch – how simple is that? And some people really like to be watched. So do we need any more reasons? Why not; how about the following…
When considering that we are about 7 billion people on this globe thing, we must be in awe that not any two are alike. So we have this endless stimulation of diversity, differences, looks, colors, clothes, moves, interaction, expressions, etc. It’s a never ending variety of our species passing, walking and running by, sitting, standing, talking, smiling, laughing, swearing (Yeah, I once saw one do that), and the menu goes on for as long as you want it to; curiosity and fun, all in one.
So what are we looking for, what is it we are observing? It’s nothing and it’s everything. It’s what she wears, how she wears it, does it match, how old, how young, what is she doing, are they real, where is she going, nice purse, by the way; is she travelling alone, who’s that older guy with her; the father, her “old” husband, is she happy, sad or in deep sorrow, and on and on we go. We process thousands of pieces of information in seconds, creating phantom characters based on what we see, massive assumptions about the person based on how she moves, acts, dresses, carry herself and so forth; oh, and all this, while somebody else is doing the same evaluation of us.
When we consider the time or lack of time we take or have with that one person in view, it is amazing how much information we run through in such a short time. Visual and auditory impressions, and in some cases, if close enough: smells of perfume, cologne, sweat (Yuk), booze-breath, etc. which are also items to help evaluate the possibilities in our guess-work, right or wrong. And we rarely find out, do we? They disappear as fast as they appeared; but it’s still a lot of fun.
Who do I people-watch? I’m an equal opportunity goggler, but if you threaten me with a session of water-torture, I will tell you that for the most part I find watching women more fascinating than watching men. I find women more alive, and men to be more predictable. I find the female shape more interesting and pleasing to the eye, than the way men are shaped. Women dress more creatively, therefor a grander variety (not as an excuse, but I did work in women’s fashion many years ago in Europe). On many levels women appeal more so to me than do men, which no doubt also stems from being a devout heterosexual; and that brings us back to that thin line thing from before.
No, Dear Reader, I do not feel to any extent of your imagination, that I ever cross the line from people watching to Peeping Peter (as in voyeurism and drooling). Not that it’s any of your business, but being an honest guy, I’ll tell you why: I am not lusting after any of the women I watch, but I highly appreciate their shapes, forms, moves, personalities and interaction (not with me) within the environment the persons I’m watching are in, people they are with, etc. I’m not out there hunting for anybody. I’m happily married, and utterly secure in my life with my wife; so I can calmly sit back, enjoy and appreciate. Okay, I told you mine, now you tell me yours; fair enough?
For the most part, people watching is incidental, we just do it (not a Nike thing, by the way). And then some just do it as a hobby, meaning people-watch on purpose. Personally I don’t really have time for that, though it sounds intriguing. I travel enough to get my fill, but even the trip to the super market is, well, still fun.
So what are you watching? Have you ever specifically thought about it? Oh, and have you noticed how you constantly narrate your observations? Either to the persons you are with, or when alone, you chat to yourself. “Nice tight jeans on that dude”; “shoes don’t go with that skirt”; “hubba-hubba”. Our narrations are as varied as the people we are watching – and then some.
I’m off to Europe again in a few weeks. Have a total of four airport stops with time between flights; time to people-watch and that’s what I also do – something I look forward to as well; part of traveling with Peter.
Oh, I nearly forgot: when somebody catch you watching them, and you can’t turn away fast enough, don’t twist your body into pieces, while trying not to look utterly guilty. Instead, give that person a big smile. If they don’t rush over and slap you silly, they will for the most part smile back. You see, we like to watch people, but we also like people watching us – to some extent; don’t you agree?
Till next Monday – go watch a whole bunch of people
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