Wednesday, May 25, 2011

SPORADIC THOUGHTS - in small bits

*** You cannot be creative without the fear of failure

*** Remember that walking erect and walking with an erection  are two different things - please don't get them mixed up.

*** Is lying only unethical if you get caught?

*** Don't trust unfounded reality

*** Progress will move a lot faster when politicians start to work across the aisles. Elected by the people is a bestowed honor of confidence, expectations and hope. Unfortunately for those same people, disappointment is the common result.

*** As far as I know, it's the only sperm-bank with a drive-through window

*** For the good of mankind, there are certain people I hope will never reproduce

*** Heard in court (attorney):  "Let it be noted that I am a devout atheist, but for legal reasons, this was most certainly an act of God."

*** Sarcasm is just the charming rendition of cynicism

*** "I feel like an idiot."  "You should, it makes a lot of sense."

*** Do the Dutch speak the way they do because of the dope? (it's okay - I'm Danish, but no dope....)

*** We have the right to be wrong

*** Don't fail before you try

*** Why "rehearsal dinner" before a wedding. Don't people know how to eat?

*** I can't remember if I suffer from dementia

*** "You must be drunk; you look very blurry..."

*** One of my uncles only listened to radio-programs featuring frontal nudity...

*** Remember that being in love dramatically dims the light of common sense...

*** What I learned yesterday I used today to prepare for tomorrow

*** Since my dry-cleaners started out-sourcing to India, they discontinued same-day service; go figure...

*** Alcohol is getting too much credit

*** ...and talking about alcohol: That is what consensual sex for the most is sponsored by...

*** To tell you the truth, I don't know if I'm lying...

*** Tell him he's an idiot, it shows you care...

*** Winning the lottery is like eating lentil soup with chopsticks

*** Turning right can be wrong, but turning left can actually be right - go figure that one as well...

*** As a child I didn't know what to be when I grew up, so I decided not to grow up; it obviously worked.

*** Rabbits feet supposedly bring luck. I don't think the rabbits agree...

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