EASTER – crucifixions and marshmallow bunnies

Easter is a Christian and cultural festival. It’s called Easter because Wester would sound really weird. As far as I understand, within the limits of my religious ignorance, it is to commemorate the crucifixion and the death of Jesus Christ. I’m told that this day is called Good Friday. Maybe I confuse easily, but what’s so good about a day involving nasty crucifixions and death? In Denmark, Good Friday is actually called LangFredag (Long Friday) which makes more sense, especially when things are not going well, including crucifixions and death.

 

But luckily, as the story goes, Jesus resurrects the following Sunday, so all is quickly back to normal tidings. The commemoration of Jesus’ crucifixion and of course more importantly, his resurrection, is packed into the cultural festival we know as Easter – and did you know that the Easter Season is a total of seven weeks? Imagine how much weight we could gain if we took full advantage of that?

Growing up in Denmark and not using that as an excuse for ignorance (the art of not knowing), religion was not part of my life at all. Sure we acknowledged religious holidays, especially if there was candy, presents and days off from school involved (I was ignorant, but not stupid).

Christmas was and still is a major holiday for me. The awesome idea of getting presents for free, no matter how badly I behaved the previous year, has always pleased me; I mean how could Santa possibly check on everybody, huh? And then all the days off school, the great food and we even got presents on Lille-Juleaften (Little-Xmas Eve – December 23^rd). Religion coming in handy, I’d say…

The religious part of Easter was always a bit confusing, as it stretched out over several days, actually weeks, if you are really counting. We’d normally get about a week off school and later on, days off from work – so that was a big positive and something to look forward to, thinking of Easter. But I never got into what it was really all about, the significance of telling the story of Christ and the times back then. I would certainly never have put the crucifixion of Jesus and Good Friday together – ever. Would you?

I blame commercialism for ruining my holy curiosity. Instead of intellectual advise concerning this significant religious, Christian and cultural festival, they gave me jelly beans, greeting cards, marshmallow bunnies and chocolate eggs. Not that I’m complaining, but really… And what is the deal about all this candy?

 

It seems as ‘eggs’ are a main feature in this ‘candy-festival’. We are talking all kinds of eggs, from plastic, chocolate, decorated, painted, papier-mâché (I speak foreign as well), and so forth. I can only assume that these eggs are symbolizing ‘fertility’, as in the rebirth of Jesus or something. I’m all fine with that, though I’m puzzled by the lack of hens in the Easter picture – we see and eat cute chicks, but no egg-laying hens. Don’t get me wrong, I keep stuffing my face with edible eggs, hens or no hens.

 

I’m even more mystified concerning the presents of bunnies. Again, this is not a complaint. But are they represented in this scenario because of their famous multiplying abilities – as in ‘fertility’? While you contemplate this question, I’ll catch up on the marshmallow bunnies in front of me, no matter how disturbing a thought it is eating cute things you could easily name Fluffy or Buttons (sigh).

 

I remember my mother handing over all kinds of candy surrounding a large chocolate egg, wrapped in colorful foil or not. The Easter goodies continued with the Easter hunt, consisting of small hollow plastic eggs stuffed with more candy, hidden in the garden and around the house. Greed popped up its ugly head and the race was on – at times the search turned nasty, with unfortunate casualties and melted chocolate all over the place. And seriously, why egg hunts? Was it something Jesus started Easter Sunday, just for the heck of it?

In all seriousness, I have never had anything against religious holidays of any kind; I have the greatest respect for people’s beliefs and the trust some find in faith. The unfortunately part of these spiritual days, is how they more so left the church and became overly commercialized. I honestly wonder how many Easter candy-inhaling people can actually give you a somewhat sane explanation why they are stuffing their faces with chocolate eggs, marshmallow bunnies named Fluffy, egg-shaped jelly beans and so easily get caught up in hunting eggs with a vengeance; all in the name of Jesus Christ. I cannot imagine that many will know…

 

As a gratis reminder: remember that the Easter Season is more like seven weeks and not just a few days. This gives you the legal, as well as religious right, to stock up on massive quantities of candy, while (legally) forgetting about any form of diet – at least for seven weeks. It might actually be a Federal law, come to think of it. 

WOW, was that a flock of marshmallow bunnies hopping by? Fluffy, is that you? Sorry, gotta run…

 

DECISIONS – right, wrong or perhaps maybe

We think it’s only a decision when it’s something big and substantial, like getting married, buy a house, having children, career choices or deciding what reality show to watch (huh?) Besides the silly one, we mark these selections as true decisions, because they might become mighty alternators of our future. But we actually make hundreds of decisions every single day - if not thousands. Sure they are not all big and utterly important, but it’s the same process and for the most part done very fast and furious, no matter if they are right, wrong or perhaps just maybe’s.

Psychologically, decision-making is regarded as the cognitive process (meaning ‘knowing or apprehending by understanding’ – but you knew that, huh?) resulting in the selection of a belief or a course of action among several different possibilities (in some cases: way too many).

Every single decision-making process produces a final choice that may or may not prompt an action; as Bill Shakespeare said: “To do or not to do – that is the decision I must maketh” (he actually never said that, but he should have, don’t you think?)

Decision-making is the process of identifying and choosing alternatives based on the values and/or the preferences of the decision-maker, that’s you and me, founded on sanity and overall life-experience, huh? What I’m concerned, a multitude of our daily decisions seem to be based more so on: hit or miss, good luck and plenty of hope – (Only kidding).

From birth, we quickly learn the art of decision-making. Sure it’s a bit foggy during that first part. Survival-wise, we fully rely on the help, decisions, actions and nourishment from older humans. Our way of communicating back then was running on instincts, necessity, directed by Mother Nature and narrated by massive crying, whining and stinky diapers.

But then we got logical. Using hit or miss we decided that certain things we picked up from the floor tasted good and other things didn’t; we soon acknowledged that boiling Brussel-sprouts stunk up the house, and we decided that they also tasted accordingly – they still do. We stuck a finger into a burning candle, just because it was there (duh!) and soon found that it hurt like Hell. Based on that experience, underlined by the smell of burned flesh, we found that when the option of sticking any part of our body into anything on fire, the decision of ‘to do or not to do’ was easy to make. This one painfully burned onto our brain and just another simple example of how some decisions are made the fast, logical and easy way - using the ‘ouch’ factor. And decision-making never ends; true story.

The multitude of daily decisions consist for the most part of mundane choices we have made again and again; a vast quantity of them are decided more so on auto-pilot, but they are still choices between left or right, up or down, in or out and so forth.

For example, when taking a shower, have you ever thought about the multitude of choices and decisions we must and do make? What body part to wash first, second and in whatever continuing order? Realize that those are all decisions we have to make, one by one. But (hopefully) we have taken enough showers over the years that we have it down to something we do automatically, instinctually and something we never ever have to think about. The funny thing is that if you try to explain to or tell somebody how you shower and in what order you do it, you might not be able to do so without moving your hands, feet and body, as if you were actually in the shower – that’s how automated we have become. Yeah, go ahead, give it a try, with arms and hands immobile by your side; and good luck with that (giggle giggle). I demonstrated this ‘how I shower’ thing at the last fancy dinner-party I was invited to – about 16 years ago… Perhaps I should have kept my clothes on - oh well, there’s an idea for next time…  

     

So, everyday decision-making is like that and most of those decisions are so in-grown concerning how we do them that we do not have to think about it at all. The vast quantities of those decisions are basically right, as in practical, functional and logical. Sure we can always argue other people’s choices (a great pastime if you have nothing else to do), but never-the-less, theirs are also basic and workable decisions - if we agree or not.

Sure we have to make some important decisions early on, seems we are more or less forced to. What to do ‘when we grow up’, what kind of career.  That’s where it gets complicated in a truly unfair way. We have very little to no maturity nor experience when some of those bigger decisions have to be decided upon. 

It would help if we could do a quick morph into the future and perhaps stop at age 50 and take a peek concerning our interests at that time, etc. Then we’d be able to figure out what would be the better career for us – right? Then we head back and can make a more sensible choice. But we are more or less pressured into making such a huge life-altering decision with barely any form of practical life experience. Sure our parents and teachers ‘advise’ us over and over, but it’s unfortunately only later in life that we realize: ‘oh crap, perhaps they were right’. Yep, when we are younger and faced with choices like that, we are of course not listening to advise coming from adults, parents or teachers – duh!!!

Decisions concerning a partnership with another person in marriage or whatever relationship, is another choice we, to some extent, must have a fair amount of luck with – yes, and a bunch of hard and respectful work, garnished with love, etc. How are we to make the ‘till death do us part I do’ with any clear certainty, shared with so many promises and not only to the other person, but more so to ourselves? Last I checked, ‘forever’ is still a very long time. There are so many ways that it might not happen – but luckily, most of us do make good decisions in that respect – I made one three times (oops).

Decisions are all about the future. We constantly decide on stuff for this very moment, a few seconds ahead, hours, days, months and years. I think that overall we are pretty good at this ‘decision-stuff’. Sure we make a few bad calls on the way, but when we bring up the ‘burned finger syndrome’, we’ll soon be back on the right track again.

Predicting is a big part of our decision-making, as we must imagine how something could be, would be, what if and so forth, before we decide. That makes me think of a quote by the world-famous Danish (at least world-famous in Denmark) humorist Storm Petersen; he said: “It is very easy to predict, except about the future”. Now, why didn’t I come up with that…?

Have you ever wondered that if you had decided on a left turn instead of a right turn back then, that today would be very different for you? I think we all have. However interesting that thinking might be, I still believe that it's always better to be decisive than being indecisive - Amen...

UNDERDOG – all my due respect, really…

In too many societies and cultures, winning seems to be the only way. Coming in second is rarely noticed and third place is seemingly occupied by losers. Anybody placed below third, why even bother? The old mantra of having fun getting there, in life as in any form of sports and competition, seems pre-doomed, because we pathetically believe that winning is the only thing that counts; and how sad is that – really? But of course you and I are not part of that sad group that believes it’s so, because we respect the efforts of the underdog or any dog for that matter – woof woof…

It was around 1856 that the term ‘underdog’ popped up, as ‘the beaten dog in a fight’ (whatever). The opposite of underdog is ‘top-dog’, as ‘over-dog’ would sound really weird; ‘favorite’, is another ‘most likely to win’ term. Any group, team or individual of any shape or form who is not ‘most likely to win’ is unceremoniously labeled ‘underdog’. I know, not a very colorful background for such devastating term and not hysterically exciting to any extent, but there it is. I think ‘under-cat’ would be a lot cuter; don’t you? 

It was around 1956 that I was watching a bicycle race, one of those things where the riders race around and around, trying to get over the finish line first (silly concept – but whatever). I was with my father. He was vocally and consistently encouraging the riders in the back of the pack to keep up, pedal harder. On the way home I asked him in the wisdom of a ten year old why he did that. We stopped and got off our bikes, as he wanted to make sure that I fully understood what he was going to tell me – I fully understood and never forgot.

Concerning sports (as entertainment), he explained that emphasis should never fully be on winning; to win should not be the essential/only part of any contest, watching or participating. The reason being, that when we emphasize that small part, we are being pathetically ignorant, as well as derogatory to the many of us, most of us, who are not going to win. That’s pretty much everybody participating, minus the one who actually wins the contest. I found and still find that to be so very true on several levels.

In society’s eagerness of hailing winners, we forget the underdogs, and that is neither fair nor nice, besides it does not make sense. We hail winners by associating ourselves with them, will perhaps have some of the luck rubbing off on us. Okay, not you and I, but all the other ‘hailers’.

We might even apply a bit of our darker side, the envy and jealousy part, as in ‘why him/her/them and not me?’ Some winners we praise for their outstanding performance, the immense discipline and effort in training for that top result, placing him/her/them on the highest pedestal; but while doting on that, we totally forget second and third place and every single one of the other competitors who also finished the event – shame shame shame. 

Yeah, not nice to forget all those ‘underdogs’ who had no doubt sacrificed as much energy, effort and time while applying the same massive discipline; but no matter how hard some of these underdogs (most of them/us) worked, the one on the podium had that one thing that day and at that very moment to become the top-dog. Some can even do it again and again, because there are things lined up within and without that make them stand out more often than others. But that does not mean we should ignore the underdogs – not at all; they should be as respected and appreciated as any winner is on any day, at any time – according to me (and my father). I am a stout fan of underdogs and I am always cheering them on and on and on – wish for them to win, by crushing the top-dogs (that’s the spirit, Peter).

Here in the USA the stark contrast between the number one and number two in almost anything is severe. I remember a tennis final I watched many years ago. It was time to hand out the prices and trophies to the tournament winner and second place (such a loser, huh?) The winner got a fancy new and very expensive car, plus a check for $11 million; pretty good payday for playing tennis. Then the announcer presented the second place winner by saying that ‘the loser’ (that day, I assume) did not get the fancy car, but only the ‘loser-check’ of $6 million. I don’t know how much money the announcer idiot made for a living, but if you gave me $6 million for coming in second, the dreaded and lowly ‘loser’ position, I’d be happy to lose every bloody day and wouldn’t give a crap about what you or anybody else thought of me being labeled the losing ‘underdog’ – I would wear that title proudly (and then buy myself a really fancy car – I could certainly afford one).

I was coaching a girls Varsity soccer team (high school) some years back. One pre-season we entered a local tournament at another high school. It was clearly written on the results-board that after group play, the winning teams would be playing the other winning teams in the post-group play-off. But for some pathetic reason the tournament organizers felt it was also okay to announce that the ‘losers’ (seriously) would be playing against the other ‘losers’. One of the players from our team just laughed as she read it and stated that they had been called things worse than that – I embraced her and her attitude; but not that she surprised me.

I have never really been good at things that have anything to do with ‘winning’ (except in my work). The only thing I remember where I came in as a winner was at a national (Denmark) competition in ‘roller-skate pair dancing’ – true story. But I only roller-skated (and was actually pretty good at it) because I was so taken by this very hot and sexy partner of mine; Jytte, was her name. I was 12 and seriously confused by so many twirling and swirling hormones I had to deal with at the time. Jytte did kiss me once and that was right after she was handed our big trophy thing. That one kiss was worth the hundreds of hours of training on skates; I didn’t care less about the trophy…

But I have certainly participated in the role of ‘underdog’ on several soccer-teams from age 6 and up; played tennis in tournaments where the 1^st place price was a T-Shirt (and you rode home on your bike). 2^nd place, you just rode home on your bike. 3^rd place – don’t want to go there.

I started coaching soccer at age 12 and continued here in the USA when our sons were ready to play. My coaching-mentor back in Denmark told me that the most important thing about coaching soccer was to constantly underline that the reason we ALL were involved, players and coaches, was to have fun. Nothing was more important. From the day I started to cruise the sidelines as a coach that was the last thing I told the players running out on the pitch and the last thing I asked them to do after halftime: HAVE FUN, whatever you do – and they did.

We shouldn’t emphasize winning so much, by making it the ultimate goal – the only thing. Sure, winning wars might be of importance as so many other ‘it is essential to win’ issues. But when we are talking about sports and games in our everyday life, let’s all wear the ‘I’m an underdog – and I’m having a lot of fun being one’ T-Shirts.

And we can wear that label with pride and respect and be comforted by the true fact, that the vast majority of us are underdogs in sports and games – at least what that part of our lives is concerned – so let’s have a lot of fun while we are at it, okay? And I will keep rooting for any underdog till the day I die – or perhaps even longer. 

All my respect as well – really (Woof Woof)

PS. I still like ‘under-cat’ better, because it’s cute and cuddly (sigh)...