When we contemplate the mechanics of kissing, the technical aspect of puckering up by engaging the orbicularis oris, which we all know is the ring-muscle of the mouth, while activating as well as coordinating 34 facial muscles and about 112 postural muscles, it does remove a bit of the romance factor as we watch Bergman and Bogart suck face in the movie Casablanca; don’t you agree?
As I wondered who actually started this kissing thing, I called an expert on the subject, Kissmopologist Dr. Andrea Liplock, who has a PhD in Lip & Tongue Synchronization from Duke University. Surprisingly, she didn’t know; how about that? You would think with an education and a title like that, she would at least have learned about how the kiss was born - and she went to Duke U. of all places.
So can we just assume that two people, who kind of liked each other, could not get any excitement or tickles of satisfaction just shaking hands? So they thought of other things to help them along, and by pure coincident came up with lips-to-lips?
And can we also assume, that they got so thrilled about this new thing that they continued to talk with their lips still locked, so the tongues got in the way? All this actually took place in Paris (where else?) and guess what: French Kissing was born – true story.
I did find that kissing has been a wonderful and solid tradition for many, many years. Socrates, Aristotle and their respective girl-friends supposedly already did it way back in the old Greeceland days. But we are not totally sure, as Soc and Aris were perfect gentlemen and lived by: “don’t kiss & tell”. Of course the girls kept quiet as well; just like they do today – yes?
So why bother kissing? (There you go, rolling your eyes…) We do it because we find sensations of taste, touch and smell when we kiss, among many other things – oh, and it feels nice too. Still doesn’t sound too romantic – does it?
Kissing is the physical act of pressing one’s lips against the lips of some other person or against some of that person’s body parts, as cheeks, forehead or hands (the rest is up to you); in some cases we kiss objects, like the Pope’s oversized ring; I mean, don’t you? In rare cases we ask somebody to kiss my butt; not something we really want them to, is it? Oh, I see, you don’t kiss & tell… (giggle).
Kisses express sentiments of love, passion, affection, respect, greeting, friendship, erotic emotions and my all-time favorite: lust (I’m only kidding – but it’s true).
The word kiss is from Old English cyssan, which translates to kiss. In Danish we call it kys, in Dutch kussen, Finnish (and good luck with that one) suudella; in French they have several words covering the same thing, but I’ll stay with baisent. The Italian’s go for bacio, the Japanese with seppun and for those of you who only speak Latin, I couldn’t find any words for kissing; tough luck. Spanish is either beso or besar (would I be right if it is singular and plural?) Of course Swedish is my utmost favorite and they have three variations: kyss, puss and kyssa. Any one of those three works for me, big time…
Of course we also have colorful variations of that kissing thing. Besides suck face, how about lip-lock, French kiss, smooch, smack, peck, snog (British slang, and my all-time favorite), air kiss and so forth. Of course kiss is also a text message abbreviation, meaning keep it short stupid – you didn’t know that, did you?
And then we all have the dreaded, proverbial, nervous, frustrating, romantic and horrific first kiss, huh? The one we do remember, no matter how much we want to forget. I’ll tell you mine if you’ll tell me yours, okay? I’m always ready for a good laugh – seriously…
Henrik was dating this girl Susanne. I would guess we were something like 11 or 12. I had no experience in the kissing and make-out department, Henrik had some experience and Susanne was much more advanced than the both of us put together, plus she was a few years older. So we were sitting around in Susanne’s room; she was making out with Henrik (kissing only), while I was desperately trying to concentrate reading the new issue of Donald Duck.
Susanne and Henrik got into a bit of a disagreement and Henrik sourly moved away from Susanne who stayed on her bed. A few minutes later Susanne asked if I knew how to kiss. I blurted out NO while blushing all over the place. Then she padded the space next to her and told me to come on over. I did, which left Henrik a bit puzzled; go figure.
“I’ll teach you how to kiss, okay?” And did she ever – while Henrik was steaming in the chair, trying to concentrate on Donald Duck; I doubt if he succeeded…
Henrik and I stayed friends and the weird thing is that Susanne liked both of us, so it was kind of an innocent three way dating situation. Now hold your giggling, it was not much more than that kissing thing – really. What were you thinking? I was 11 or 12 for goodness sake… and I don’t kiss and tell – oops, I just did...
I find kissing very romantic. I also find it loving, reassuring and confirming. But I still find the kissing action itself somewhat puzzling. But kissing is of course a correct and most natural thing to do as an intimate expression. No, those puzzling thoughts will never hold me back, have not and will never get in the way; I was just wondering, that’s all.
Kissing does make us feel good; where that level of feeling good is at, has of course a lot to do with the person we are kissing and how we are kissed back. It’s not all about how good we are at kissing, though it helps, but it’s more so how we as a whole person react with the other person, that guides how good we feel about lip-lock snogging.
On certain levels, kissing discharges a bit of dopamin in our bodies; this doesn’t mean that it makes you look dopey. It means that this feel good chemical is released when we experience something that is highly pleasurable – as with kissing (and bowling, for some of us).
Now don’t get all uptight and sue me for killing your kissing abilities or joys of same. I fully declare that I am not an expert, though I do have…. Whatever!
I often feel a bit uncomfortable watching kisses and sex in movies, though. I feel like a voyeur, a Peeping Peter or Tom. I’m okay with them making out, but not really in front of me; get a room, is my suggestion.
But then again, I have watched and also enjoyed many romantic kisses in movie theaters; especially with Ingrid Bergman participating; on the screen, that is. The sweet and beautiful Ingrid, kissing Cary Grant in Notorious and Bogart in Casablanca. That’s where I embrace kissing at its highest level of romance – but of course, off screen much more so…
You must remember this, a kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh (ahhh...)
…and how blooming romantic is that, huh?
See you next Monday – now go give somebody you like a snog on the nose; or perhaps go bowling…
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