We do not give young people, the youth of this world, enough credit. We are more so busy being critical, rolling our eyes, shaking our heads, while fearing for our future. To me that is very unfair and somewhat ignorant. I’m positive this is how you see it as well; being unfair and ignorant are not things you and I do, is it?
Last Monday I was invited to a dance performance at Duke University (American Dance Festival / Durham – North Carolina), by dear friends of mine. Hundreds of young dancers, going through programs of six weeks and finishing with performances in front of audiences.
Most of the sold out theatre consisted of other dancers from the program; their support could be heard the very second the curtain started to rise. Screams, whistling and hollering were surprising and loud, but WOW, what energy; and the show hadn’t even started yet. But then it did, and again more noise and WOW.
I’m not a grand fan of modern dance, compared to classics like Swan Lake and stuff like that. But this evening I was blown away by the tremendous energy, the focus, the discipline and seemingly endless joy these young kids projected on stage. And then I imagined the tireless training and practices, hour after hour, day after day and then weeks. I cannot be more in awe – extremely impressive – and so young they were, really. It made me proud of being an adult and a parent; it made me more so proud of them – and I didn’t even know any of them, other than being young people.
The definition of the age range that constitutes “young” or “youth” varies. But let’s run with between 15 and 24; this is established by the United Nations and the World Bank (of all institutions), just to name a few.
When I say “we”, I’m referring to those of us, who are beyond the age of 24, have been around the block a few times and perhaps with a kid or two of our own.
Young people are roaming around in the awkward period of their lives between childhood and adulthood. It’s where a lot of decisions are being tested, growing up is tried, acknowledgment of sexuality, mixed with overall confusions, anxieties, stress and expectations. All this is hammered at them from all sides, while being met and fought by pressure and hopes from inside. Parents, teachers and any so-called adults are there in-their-faces telling them what is good for them because they know what is good. And we do know what is good, but we are not too good at applying it correctly, are we?
The biggest mistake we consistently make is that we fortuitously consider young people to be on the same level as we are. We give little thought to the fact, that they are so far from where we are emotionally, maturity-wise, academically, work-experience, life-experience, etc. but we still communicate to them as if we are on the same track, as if they do feel, react, understand and acknowledge precisely as we do. That’s why we don’t “understand” each other as well as we should, and that’s why we adults’ sound rather derogatory and ignorant concerning the group of youngsters (all the while those same young people shake their combined heads).
Let’s try to listen to each other more, try to understand where we are all coming from and where we would like to go. The second we put down our defenses on both sides, we will no doubt be able to move forward a lot faster – together and with greater success for all.
It’s said that the youth is our future and that is true, of course. But it is also true that we are the ones teaching them, educating them, giving them those values to live by, and so much more. We are actually the ones who are more so responsible for that future thing. So if you think the future looks bleak, by looking at the young people and you are a full-blooded adult, it’s pretty much your own fault. The kids are merely pawns on the board of life, with the grown-ups trying hard to make the right moves for them (and that is rather poetic, huh?)
I watch the 2012 London Olympics these days and I see the thousands of young people, our children and part of our future, exposing brilliant faces of energy, excitement, life and positive promises of times yet to come. I tear up and I send thanks to the ones they trusted, who believed in them and told them that they could, whatever they sat out to do. I tear up thinking of the extreme sacrifices, the training and determination they had to pull out of their hearts and bodies to reach this pinnacle of their lives. You tell me, but how bloody cool is that? Still worried about our future? I am not – never been; just look around you.
It’s all about the kids that we are faced with daily, those we brought up, we taught and coached. When you look around and you acknowledge the stuff we went through back then (way back, for some of us), and apply those feelings to those who are going through that young thing today, don’t you feel a bit more compassion, patience and understanding? I do. Many of our parents expected miracles, for the most with disappointing results for all involved; so shouldn’t we have learned from that?
Most children and young people want to please themselves, but they also want to please their parents, teachers and coaches, the sport’s and life kinds. So we should look for better and smarter ways of helping them doing both, by better understanding where they are mentally, with maturity, etc.
I have always believed that personal success will be accomplished when we strive to do the best within the realm of our abilities. We shouldn’t expect or push for results way beyond that. We must bring up our children and understand young people within that reality, by giving our 100% in support concerning their efforts accordingly – at least that is my belief.
Youth is not solely a time of life, but is also a state of mind. This brings up the issue that some want and try to be younger. Now, really, why the heck would you like to do that? I always thought it ridiculous and silly. Why would I ride back to 18 and “duh”? Okay, if you gave me the option of 18 and the life experience I have today – okay WOW, I’m on it. Not only would I be a young adult stud genius, but how do you think my dating scenario would look like, even with my looks? One word: very busy (giggle-giggle) and exhausting, duh! Sorry, got off on the impossible fantasy track… I am extremely happy where I am, thank you - let's continue.
For the most part, we highlight and pay attention to the jerks and slackers among young people, like we are trying to make our point “the youth today, yuk” (and as if there are no such characters among adults?) But look at the ones who are normal, who are leading and exceeding, the ones who are doing very well and the broad wonderful average. These are all young people, with dreams, plans and expectations – and racing towards their goals or something – many do not know what those are yet – and that is also okay. But let’s stop judging a whole generation by a few bad apples, okay?
I have grand trust and confidence in our future, because we brought up a great bunch of kids. I look at young faces filled with determination, action and eagerness to perform, to succeed, to create and carry on with this wonderful world of ours.
Look around, acknowledge all the great stuff they do and then tell them what you see. When we tell them, we are rewarded with the biggest smiles and “thank you” and then they try even harder. I know, because I do it all the time – and you should too, as it means so much to them, and makes all of us feel cuddly and fuzzy inside – life at its very best.
See you next Monday – all cuddly & fuzzy, please…
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