SECRETS – nearly impossible to keep

If I have a secret and decide to tell you what it is, what I’m concerned, it is not a secret anymore. But the official definition of secret is hiding information from certain individuals or groups, so my much more logical philosophy doesn’t hold water – but it should, don’t you think?

When looking up the word secret in books that explain words like that, you are quickly guided to secrecy, which fans out to clandestinely and furtiveness, both challenging tongue-twisters; say each word six times really fast and you might never be able to untangle your tongue.

 Clandestinely is an adjective invented back in the days (1528) and explains “marked by, held in or conducted in secrecy”; like love affairs, and stuff like that – not something everyone should know about, huh? Furtiveness is from around 1612 and means “done by stealth / obtained underhandedly”. What I’m concerned, nobody got it right - well, except me; but you decide, of course.

We all have secrets; some are juicy (my favorites) and others are just utterly boring. Our secrets are about things we do not want to share with anybody, not even Fluffy, the family bunny, because you never know, do you? It’s stuff about ourselves, stuff about people around us, things we do, have done and might want to do, very personal opinions, thoughts and so forth – all sensitive stuff. 

Sharing any little bit of this with others, could be embarrassing, devastating for us and/or the person/people around us. These are secrets we must hold on to and definitely want to keep to ourselves – if we want to keep the peace.

Do I have secrets like that? Of course. Would I share them with you? Are you mad? Besides, it wouldn’t be a secret anymore if I did, would it? But my secrets are not really juicy, mystical or very exciting; they are more so opinions and thoughts I prefer to keep to myself, stuff that wouldn’t improve anything if revealed or make things bad. Yeah, not very exciting, huh? It’s just stuff that I believe we all carry around, and for the most part, keeping these secrets to ourselves is the ticket.

We keep secrets for many reasons. It could be based on shame, on fears, on hurtfulness, acceptance or just common sense. Some things are better not said, I truly believe in that. This should not be misconstrued as being fake, dishonest or cowardly holding back information; the term diplomacy comes to mind.

As mentioned above, the official explanation of secret/secrecy is when we hide information from certain individuals or groups. Family secrets can cover many issues, but that Uncle Ed is a jerk is hard to keep secret. Governments are hiding all kinds of stuff from us, at times stuff we wonder why it was hidden in the first place, why it was packed in secrecy. Corporate secrecy can be rather extensive and of course there are a lot of secrets the corporate world do not want consumers to know about – a huge lot, which is very scary. 

Technology secrets are massive and very much in demand, with corporate spying and worldwide networks of groups doing their very best getting/stealing any of these secrets, at any cost. Military secrets are so vast an area and pretty much every single nation are trying to extract these secrets from each other, even from the ones they call their friends and allied (please remember: these are all adults, which is even more scary). 

But what’s up with Top Secret? Now, if I’m not totally dizzy, when a secret is already a secret, how much more secret can it be? Is Top Secret more secret then a basic secret? Does it mean that I should keep my mouth totally shut trying desperately to keep a Top Secret and perhaps it’s okay to let my mouth run a bit concerning a basic secret? Does Top Secret mean that we also have a Bottom Secret? I didn’t think so; I’m convinced Top Secret was only invented to make movies and spy-novels more exciting.

Officially secrets and secrecy mean sharing information only with certain individuals and groups. So if you are an official secret-holder, not following my interpretation (which of course you should, duh), I hereby officially warn you to always be utterly careful with whom you share your secrets with. Be extremely cautious, especially if it’s a secret that you do NOT want to go any further.  Remember, that since you couldn’t keep this secret to yourself, the person you pass it on to cannot either. 

Confession: on the keeping secrets scale, I am as way down below the bottom-line as you can get. So many times (as in ‘all the time’) I plan something exciting or bought stuff or done stuff for my wife that was supposed to be a secret (as in: surprise) for 30+ years of blissful marriage, I have not been able to keep it to myself – always exposing the (secrets) surprises way ahead of time. Oh well, if nothing else, do I get points for consistency?

  

If you are near exploding concerning a secret you have, I suggest you take a deep breath and reconsider the damage it might cause, before you let it out. Remember that everybody around you has the same darn problem concerning leaking secrets – especially if the secret is not their own. Also remember that the secret you tell somebody will no doubt be retold very differently and so forth. An ongoing retold secret can go from Uncle Ed being a jerk to Aunt Winnie winning the Nobel Peace Prize (which still leaves Uncle Ed a jerk – because that has never been a secret).

I trust we all have some secrets we are not comfortable to share for good reasons; personal stuff, thoughts about, opinions and what-not. And I am fine with people around me not sharing these secrets with me; and perhaps lucky?

I don’t have many secrets as I am a fairly straight-forward and out-spoken person; at times too out-spoken, I’m told. So keeping secrets is not my strongest side – at all. I don’t think my wife has any secrets, if so only very few; she is utterly honest and most people are like that – I believe.

If you have any secrets you can’t keep to yourself anymore, this is your chance to get them out worldwide as this blog has over 26,000 readers from 122 countries – so feel free to place those dark, deep and juicy secrets as a comment, and let’m rip, okay? (I can’t wait). And of course you don’t have to use your real name – as that would be utterly stupid - duh…

DISCLAIMER: If any of you have an Uncle Ed in your family, I’m sorry I made him a jerk, especially if he is not – but remember, to me he is just a person I made up. I’m sure there are a lot of nice Uncle Ed’s out there.