GETTING OLDER – no need to hurry

It’s my birthday today – hitting 68. Is it a happy birthday? For me, it has never been a day that is extraordinarily more exuberant than any other day, as most days of my life have been and actually are rather happy. But of course, frosting drenched layer-cake and colorful-wrapped surprises, does make it a bit happier. But no matter the quantity of frosting, I am still getting older; at times that thought doesn’t make me overly happy – my free advice to you: don’t hurry getting older.

When we were kids we couldn’t get older fast enough. It was perhaps 16 that had a glow of excitement and freedom when we were 13. Then we hit 16 and 18 was the next goal covered in nirvana (not the band, but the emotion). After enjoying being 18 for a couple of minutes, 21 looked like the Holy Grail. But then I think it stopped – don’t you? I mean, when I was 35 I didn’t have any urges getting to 50 anytime soon. 

Asking a kid how old he or she is they go: “7-1/2 but I’ll be 8”, already involving that next year into the answer. I giggle and get an uneasy eye-rolling smirk on my face when an ‘older’ person responds: “67 but I’ll be 68…” yeah ‘duh’, if you live that long. What’s bothering me is the dreaded reality of actually hitting that additional year, which we underline by birthdays; it’s iffy because it’s part of getting older – and I don’t think I want to, so take that...

I use the term ‘older’ and not ‘old’, because I don’t really know what ‘old’ means. A joke can be old, as in worn out, boring and told too many times. As far as I know, ‘old’ has not been established as a measure of age, like we hit 68 and now we are officially ‘old’ – or something like that (I hope not)… Sure King Tut could be filed under ‘old’, but to me he is simply: ‘extremely very older’. Sounds better, don’t you think?

Okay, all this sounds perhaps a bit down and depressing, but in reality it’s not – just some deeper birthday thoughts. You see, for an ‘old fart’, sorry it should be: ‘older fart’ like me, I’m in a good place. I do not have any health issues; I exercise daily, I eat healthy with the occasional binge-inhalation of Redvines or any form of sugar-based soft candy-like stuff; I do not smoke (anything) and alcohol is only consumed in the form of wine and the occasional micro-brewed beer.

When I hit 50 I started to think ‘older’, perhaps from the realization that my life was no doubt half done by then. And when you are a healthy, happy and a productive human being at that age, that thought might be an issue of concern due to its morbidity. But on the other foot, I have always had ways of moving negative thoughts into something positive.

So when I hit 50 I got my lists together and wrote everything down that I found negative in my life (and options to solve or dispose of), as well as everything positive – and there was a lot of that. After I finished the lists, the positives outweighed the negatives by a million miles (that would be 1,6 million kilometers, by the way), still, by a lot - you get the idea. After that exercise, 50 did not look bad at all.

There are so many things I enjoy and have enjoyed beyond my expectations as I am getting older. So many things I have found pleasures in, things in my ‘earlier’ life I had bypassed due to self-inflicted time-limits, seeking something more profitable during those times – so a lot of great stuff got overlooked. By now I have revisited many of those earlier neglected items. 

Don’t get me wrong and believe to any extent that I have more time to myself today, than I had back in those earlier days. My days are full of it (that would be stuff to do), and my pre-retirement visions of relaxed afternoons by the fountain in the back-yard, a glass of chilled white-wine and a good book? I found they were just that – visions. But this is not a complaint, because when all my whining is out of the way, I am still in control of my own time these days – but there are still other things that must be done, have to be done. But it’s still my choice ‘when’; well, for the most part.

I have found enhanced interest in the things I was interested in as a younger person. I have liked art and art history from I was in my late twenties. I was more or less breastfed with interest in music; I have always liked reading, for the most part non-fiction, but also well-written fiction and photography is a main interest. I like to write stuff – and I am getting better at it as I get older; perhaps getting ‘more mature’ plays a part.

Of the many things I have pondered and learned through my life, one stands out. When talking ‘older’ as in reaching birthday after birthday: DO NOT HURRY. If I could do my younger life over, of course with the experience and appreciation I have today (duh), it would be rather different in the WOW department.

 Unfortunately the deal is that we are not blessed with too much experience or knowledge early on. Appreciating our surroundings has to be earned by learned; and that takes time. To me, that is not fair at all, as what I know now would have made me a much more productive and even more ‘enjoying’ human being back then. But at least I enjoy a lot of that ‘stuff’ now that I couldn’t fully enjoy way back then.

Don’t hurry getting older, but thoroughly and fully (at least make a big effort) enjoy where you are now. Open your eyes and your mind even more so; don’t be caught looking at your smart phone more than you are looking at your friends. And talking about ‘looking’, make sure that you take it all in, your surroundings, the times with family and the times alone. Listen more than talking as you will learn a lot more by closing your mouth and open your mind. Never take anything or anybody for granted. Make sure you have the best relationship with the most important person in your life – and that is you. 

I like my previous 67 years, warts and all. And ‘yes’ I would do it all over again, warts and all. There are a couple of things I did I would like to apologize for; no, nothing criminal, thank you. But I would still do it all again, because those first 67 years (like there will be a second set of 67 years) were really good.

So I advice you not to hurry; stop and smell the proverbial roses, inhale whatever you are doing (legal stuff only) and enjoy where you are in your life, create more positives than negatives. No matter how busy you are, don’t pass all this fantastic stuff on the way – those many magic moments you should be able to look back at and treasure when you hit 68 - just like I do today. So the above said and done, perhaps it will be a HAPPY BIRTHDAY, after all.