FITBIT – an additional conscience

Up front, let me assure you that this is not an advertisement for Fitbit or any similar products (they should be that lucky, huh?) It’s more so a metaphor for what I want to tell you. It’s like using a product name we have accepted as a term for common things we do. When tears and noses are running, we more so ask for a Kleenex, than using its real name: paper tissue; if you ask me, ‘paper tissue’ sounds kind of wimpy, doesn’t it? But on with the ‘additional conscience’ bit…

Though I’m already up to my armpits with daily reminders, using a multitude of calendars, notices, alarms, aide memoire and surely way too many gadgets on top of that, I have fully accepted that if it helps me achieve what I want to achieve by this kind of planning, scheduling and settings, it’s heading in the right direction; I’m so on it – neither shame nor embarrassment involved.

We have had a family dog for over 21+ years. No, not the same dog, duh…; two, if you really need to know - one at a time. As we are good dog-owners, we have always walked these lovely pets twice daily, come rain or come shine (how poetic). These days it’s Tess, just about the most loving pet anybody could be lucky enough to have around – seriously.

As I’m retired, but obviously still a swell guy, I can of course take the time walking Tess. My wife is working three days weekly, so I get to do both runs those days and of course more during the additional days. I do 8am and 4pm walks, approximately. At times I’m too busy with other stuff or not really in the mood to walk her, but that’s when the gadget stuff sets in and helps out.

I haven’t figured it out yet, and perhaps I never will, but how the heck does the dog know when it’s time to walk? She shows up in front of me wherever I’ll be and start staring me down at 8am and at 4pm. When the sweetest dog ever is looking at you with those big brown eyes and her ears half-cocked, your heart melts and you quickly grab the leash, iPod, sunglasses, keys and off we go.

At times I have a bunch of stuff on my daily duties, things that must be accomplished, that I cheat Tess with a much shorter walk. I seriously believe that she notices, but she never complaints. I do make sure that one of those blue pooh-pooh plastic-bags (Yuk) is filled before we head home, I mean, fair is fair - and then I met Fitbit…

A friend of ours showed up one day with this ‘thing’ in her pocket, telling us that she was following her steps, the daily distances she walked; the results also available on her smart-phone. Of course I immediately discarded it as stupid; I’m very good and utterly effective condemning a lot of ‘new’ things before I know anything about them – saves time. But seriously, why the heck would I like to know how many steps I take every day?

But then I got to think (another dizzying experience). Perhaps it would be cool to know how far I walked daily, especially with the dog. I mean, I’ve always marked down how many walks I did with Tess, so why not mark down the distances as well?

So I got one of the cheaper models (yes, it was a Fitbit) and started to keep an eye on how far I walked daily, weekly, monthly and altogether. It was eye-opening information, because I had never known – at all. Rather quickly I became a lot more serious about pursuing and tracking my walking and running (nah, just walking – I still hate running).

During the approximately two years plus I have kept track so far, I have done 6,182,157 steps (so of course I’m tired) which translates into 2,960 miles or    4,736 kilometers; not too bad, huh? But wait, there’s more…

A couple of month ago I looked at the newest Fitbit gadget thing and bought it. The old one had spent all its time in my left pocket, but this new model is worn around my left wrist, except when I shower (which is once a week, but only if needed – ha ha), otherwise all the time. It not only register my steps and distances, but advises me of my heart-rate, exercise and sleep patterns, stuff that I thought would be silly to acknowledge – but now I don’t think is silly at all, really. I also get ‘vibrations’ when I receive SMS’, emails and phone-calls, so I fully know who I’m ignoring, as I am not one to carry my mobile phone around all the time – far from. Last but certainly not least, it also gives out sharp and painful vibrating warning when my bladder is ¾ full and it’s time to go pee-pee… Nah, only kidding – but it would be very convenient, don’t you think?

But here’s where this gadget thing comes in even more appropriate. As I am somewhat a slave of and dependent on my scheduled daily tasks, I find that the additional encouragement I get from the step-goals I have set at 8,000 steps daily, is a huge help concerning getting my ass in gear, out of the seat and get them legs pumping, if I feel like it or not. So it’s not only the dog staring me down anymore, but my raw determination to at least reach those 8,000 steps – and it’s working.

I have even arrived at the point where I want to beat previous ‘records’ and as long as it doesn’t kill me (duh) it’s rather fun. Fitbit emails the past week’s results and that also encourage me to do even better. I’m up to about 30-33 miles a week, which of course explains why the dog looks so utterly exhausted. Perhaps Tess will end up begging me not to take her with me every bloody time I grab the leash – could happen; nah, she lives for our walkie-walkies…

At times I dread exercising, doing that daily fitness thing with weights and stuff, as I also at times dread doing the walking thing. But I have yet again come to the conclusion that of course it’s good for me (and the dog). While walking the dog, I ‘arrange’ my day and know in what order to do things by the time we return home. I also listen to music on my iPod, yes, still using some big old head-phones for the best bass quality sound, of course – a bit of an old-fashioned look , but I’m 71, utterly happy, so give me a darn break, please.

No matter how strong and disciplined we think we are, we all need to be notched along at times, encouraged and pushed a bit from the outside world. It’s a lot easier ‘not to do’ than it is ‘to do’, so that’s where we especially need and should accept help, some additional conscience. Also remember, that ‘to do’ is in most cases a heck of a lot funner… the minute we get going with it…

I have a thing around my left wrist that is helping in that department and helping extremely well, more than I ever expected it would. Of course I’m still waiting for the advanced model that will vibrate a ‘your-bladder-is-nearly-full’ warning – it would be a relief to get one of those; if you have a bladder, I’m sure you’ll agree.

Sorry, gotta run, actually walk – the dog is staring me down yet again and I need another 1,700 steps to reach 8,000 today, according to the additional conscience on my left wrist…

HUMOR – we would go mad without it

I learned early on, that if we can’t make fun of ourselves, we shouldn’t make fun of anybody else. I’m not talking about mean-spirited stabs of evilness, as that has nothing to do with humor what-so-ever. I’m talking about stuff that’s lighthearted, intelligent and, yeah funny. Humor is a grand reliever of tension and should, for the most part, resemble simple terms-of-endearments, which makes life more fun, interesting, open and light; we all need that - like a lot. Remember that laughter is the shortest distance between two people; humor creates laughter, and we would go totally wacky without it. 

Humor, (or like the British say it: humour) is the stuff that makes us laugh, or more scientifically said, it is the promotion as well as the provocation of laughter that provides amusement. Humor is actually a term that comes from ‘humeral medicine’ by the ancient Greeks that taught the balance of fluids in the human body, which they believed, controlled health and emotion. In Latin ‘humor’ actually means ‘body fluid’; you didn’t know that, so now you do. But never use: “Was that a stab at ‘body fluid’?” because nobody would know what the heck you are talking about...

The grand thing about humor is that it’s so utterly universal. Throw a pie in somebody’s face (not mine, of course) and people of all ages, cultures, religions, nationalities and no matter what car they drive or mule they ride, will at least smile, if not laugh, perhaps with the exception of the one with the pie-face, I assume.

When we are amused, smile and laugh at something funny, or what we consider to be funny, we are blessed with a sense of humor. But there are also people without a sense of humor, and I do seriously feel so sorry for them, as laughter is a wonderful form of healing, relaxation and a whole bunch of other related goodie stuff.

Humor is very much based on personal taste and have many variables, including geographical location, culture, maturity, education, intelligence and of course context. Kids and the ‘kid’ in all of us, like the fall-on-your-butt stuff (slapstick), as it is very visual. The contrast is satire, which requires an understanding, socially, politically (especially these days) etc. as well as a basic knowledge concerning what it is that the satire is aimed at; if we don’t have that knowledge, we won’t find it funny (sigh).

There are a lot of positives concerning humor. Both physically and psychologically, humor contributes to a higher level of well-being. Sure, aggressive humor on a derogatory level is not building much well-being or feeling well, whereas adaptive humor, the tongue-in-cheek kind, can actually improve self-esteem, decrease anxieties and make you feel loved, simply by the attention. Remember that adaptive humor goes hand-in-hand with terms-of-endearment. Mostly, we ‘make fun’ of people we like and love, and for the most part, they understand that’s what it is - like and love. 

I enjoy making people smile and laugh, something I realized when I was an early teenager. It started with small relevant, in some cases irrelevant comments about what I observed around me. In the class-room, with many visits to the principal’s office – sent there after the teachers were done laughing. Surrounded by friends or family and later on, colleagues and just about anybody I met and keep meeting on my way. I know I’m good at it, which sounds presumptuous and bragging, but is pretty much the truth; I do make people laugh, and not only when they see me naked.

I have always communicated with anybody on my way, and when I see those smiles and the laughter, it surely makes me feel good, anytime. Half the joy of my traveling is the communication with the natives, fellow travelers and just about anybody else. Language has never been a problem, as promoting humor is understood by just about all.

Many thoughts have gone through my head concerning why I do this communication bit and I have come to the conclusion that it’s one way to control the shyness I have dealt with all my life, mixed with a bit of anxieties and perhaps insecurities; the two last ones are still up for debate, though. The true main reason is that I am a firm believer of the reality, that we ALL matter to each other, and I find it important to acknowledge that, which I then try to do in a humorous way – okay, for the most part. I always joke about what my gravestone should read:

IF I MADE YOU LAUGH - I LIVED.

The fine lines with humor are overstepped at times, and that can end up terribly misunderstood, rude and hurting the target of these misguided remarks and/or comments. I’m very good at remembering the rude moments, disrespectful handling and total screw-ups concerning several flashes in my life, but I cannot remember any of those moments related to stepping over the lines, while trying to be funny. 

Humor can be and is such a reliable tool when we need to reduce tension and stress. Being able to use humor to untangle arguments that for the most part are just silly anyway when looking at the bigger picture, is not an unattainable tool for the few and lucky ones, but something we must all at least try to understand how to use and especially how to embrace when used.

Sure my wife and I have had but a few arguments of the heated kind through our 33+ years together. Though we have always respected and appreciated each other’s opinions and concerns and do actually listen to each other, it is for the most part left on a diplomatic level, where a humorous remark brings us to solutions and agreements of the kinder kind; the heated argument is being diffused to where it is a lot easier to deal with and untangle. We are both very stubborn individuals, so a lot of the glory concerning the longevity of our relationship, I truly credit to the use of and our sense of humor. 
 
Throughout my career I have also diffused negotiations and debates with lighthearted remarks and comments. If you have ever been in a tense situation at work and somebody utters a related comment to the issues being handled, a comment that is humorous or witty, have you noticed how everybody seems much more relaxed and even more focused in a refreshed manner? Sure, if it’s a stupid or ignorant stab at humor, it can backfire in a big way – so before you open your mouth, make sure it’s within the acceptable limits of the present situation.

I use self-defeating humor a lot. Remember, if you can’t make fun of yourself, don’t try it on anybody else. I see my own faults and have never been afraid acknowledging and underline these sides of me through humorous remarks - never at all. I know what I’m good at or what I think I’m good at, but I certainly also know where I suck - like really a lot.

Sure we can get carried away with making it all about ourselves and when we do, the humor quickly dies, and the laughing stops. We can also get carried away with hacking in a friendly (!) way on somebody else, so please remember, that it’s a lot more effective and a lot funner (huh?), when we apply the art of moderation.

Laughing is tremendous fun and extremely healing; humor promotes that. Endorphins are the chemical reactions that is released into our bodies when we laugh and which makes us feel really good. After an evening with a lot of laughter, we are somewhat exhausted the next morning, and for the most part it’s because of them endorphins and perhaps a bit of too much wine…to me, the perfect combination. Humor is a good healer, makes us feel alive and well – so do not hold back, as we would go totally mad without it…

IMPERMANENCE – nothing stays the same

No matter how much we consider sun-ups, sun-downs, death & taxes to be constant features in our lives, things we believe will never change, the reality is that absolutely nothing stays the same – that’s why we have the term: impermanence. This is an issue we should pay a lot more attention to, because when we do, we will realize the importance of enjoying our enjoyable moments a lot more, while we emotionally profit a bunch in addition from our relationships and other important things around us. We think we have friends forever, but we couldn’t be more wrong, because absolutely nothing stays the same, even in that department, so be sure to enjoy those people and those moments even more, please… impermanence says it all.

Sunrises and sunsets are often, as in always, mentioned as one of the few staples in our life; we can count on the precise up and down times, pretty much set our watches and clocks accordingly. But even this constant in our days do change; okay, I admit some changes very slowly, but it still changes. Death and taxes are sure things, I agree, but most certainly these float all over the place and are certainly not staying the same, as ‘guaranties’ are supposed to do.

But my core point is, that by being so busy with ‘living’, we unfortunately forget some of the more important issues concerning why we are here, for how long and what we actually could achieve and enjoy on an even higher level, when we face, deal with and understand the issues of impermanence.

  

When I read or think ‘impermanence’ I immediately see ‘taking things for granted’ in front of me. Not that I have lived like perfection in that respect, but the term does pop up often. At times I cringe when I feel I have forgotten to live with appreciation by my side, and I’m reminded that I cannot afford to be lax and ignorant towards my relationships or stuff around me; I must not take any of this for granted.

Close friends are not a dime a dozen; they don’t grow on trees, as those real close friends are utterly unique and not somebody we easily dispose of. We enjoy our close friendships for many reasons, which are similar tastes, values and the list can be either long or short or somewhere in the middle – whatever makes it work.

I have a few friends I call ‘close’; I know a lot of people that I enjoy, but these close buddies and pals of mine are in the ‘unique’ group and that I never forget. When I hear the laughter, listen to the conversations and enjoy an entertaining meal with them, I do recognize how utterly lucky and fortunate I am, having friends like them, friends I truly love and appreciate – and never take for granted.

But in the bigger picture, I also find that enjoying those moments is a privilege that will eventually change at some point. Not of my doing or because anybody wants the change or wants to make change, but simply because absolutely nothing stays the same – impermanence; remember?

I relate these thoughts more so to relationships than to anything else; family, spouses & partners, classmates, colleagues, friends and so forth. ‘Things’ are different, as we are more in control of what, where and why. We can pick and choose in that department, but with the human contacts we are not that much in control – because things happen and do, changing from one picture to another.

All relationships demand work, a lot of it, to function. The more we value a relationship, the more work it takes. Taking any relationship for granted makes it head towards dissolving; if that’s what you want, go right ahead, but always weigh the importance this person or persons are to you, as they are not so easily substituted with new ones – far from; so do you really want to dispose of that friendship?

Spouses & partners have for the most part, in one way or another, agreed to the ‘I do’ part, with all its trimmings. It’s easy to say, but much more labor intense to live up to and actually do. I think we split up too easily, being part of a society that throws out stuff instead of trying to fix it. And ‘yes’, I do firmly believe that the way we relate to disposing of materialistic things so easily, unfortunately reflects on us humans and the way we handle our relationships when in crisis.

Why don’t we try to enjoy and appreciate our magic and fun moments with friends and family and whoever we relish, a lot more? Why don’t we just let that soft thought of ‘wow, I’m blessed, privileged and fortunate to be here in this very moment’ float through our heads and hearts? I do, but I should do it even more often. We are all seemingly busy with our individual lives, but we should never be too busy to acknowledge our good friends, family, spouses & partners and so forth. I do not think we can afford to do that, as paying attention to how lucky we are more often than we do, will make us a lot richer, so much richer in life.

I look at my wife and I appreciate her, I respect her, I love her and I have never ever taken her for granted. I want to enjoy as much of a good quality life with her as possible; fortunately ‘impermanence’ pops up in front of me enough times, that makes me acknowledge and enjoy all our special moments even more – and how fortunate I am – are you fortunate as well?

Nothing stays the same, but luckily, when we understand that notion, we can pay attention to what we like and what we love and then try to make those grand moments and those wonderful people stay the same a lot longer; please give it a go – Amen…

FAN – but rarely really fanatical, huh?

Most of the time, we use the term ‘fan’ in a kind and soft way. We are fans of this and that and nobody questions us. But when we dissect the term ‘fan’ it becomes another story, perhaps a story we don’t want to be part of or be related to what-so-ever. The truth is that ‘fan’ is the abbreviation of ‘fanatical’ and ‘fanatical’ by itself, is for the most part a rather nasty emotion, when we fully understand what it is. So we cringe by association, because we are not really fanatical, are we?

In daily chit-chat we use the term ‘fan’ loosely. We might state that ‘I’m a big fan of…’ and life goes on. But if we say that we are ‘fanatical’ about such and such, the listener might flinch, because most of us do understand the difference between being a fan and being fanatical – and not just because one is abbreviated and the other one isn’t.

I have seriously never ever tagged myself a fan (and never fanatical) about anything, any person or persons; true story. From I was 5 or 6 years old, I started playing football (soccer, as they call it here) and it seemed all my older teammates were ‘fans’ of Manchester United – so I joined their interest. This is an ‘attentiveness’ that has been going strong ever since; so far for over 64 years. I watch all their matches live on TV, yes, very early in the morning and I follow most of the player and club news that are published. Our younger son has been ‘involved’ ever since I coached him soccer from he was 5, on teams I called Manchester United. But I have never called myself a fan – only a supporter.

Our son talks about Manchester United in terms of ‘…we won yesterday’, ‘…we didn’t play well’, etc. using terms as if he was part of the club, knows the players on a buddy-buddy level. I have never done that – ever. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I feel I’m better, more refined or whatever, it’s just something I have never called myself or looked at in that way. I have simply considered myself a supporter, more so than a ‘true’ fan – though to me, it sounds the same, doesn’t it?

Anyway, when we talk about the softer everyday use of ‘fan’ it’s more so understood as a supporter of and interested in, as an enthusiastic person with specific attention to this and that; I’m of course perfectly fine with this. It’s a big part of life that we find interests outside our everyday routines, interests that broadens our views and for the most part enrich and entertain us accordingly – it’s great to have outside interests (as long as they are legal) if we call ourselves fans or if we are simply supporters of – either works, really. Do you consider yourself a fan of anything or anybody? I think that for the most part we resign to ‘I like or follow…’ rather than stating that we are fans of… 

But it’s a totally different world when we look at ‘fanatical’ or at ‘fanaticism’. If we become fanatical and dive into fanaticism, it becomes very scary and out of control in too many cases, no matter the direction this ‘fanaticism’ is pointed.

‘Fanaticism’ is from the Latin adverb ‘fanatice’ which covers emotions like: enthusiastic, ecstatic, raging, fanatical (duh), furious and passionate (but not in a good way). This can be utterly frightening, as hardheaded fanaticism is related to unrealistic and fake realities, as used in propaganda, with the simple aim of misleading. As an example, religious fanaticism is referred to, as ‘blind faith’. This type of fanatical misleading is most certainly and unfortunately abused a lot not just religiously, but politically as well, all around the world.

So you see, we should be fine with the ‘fan’ thing, as long as we don’t slide into the fanatical side of it, because that is a nasty equation. But of course we also meet the more obsessive fans, I’m sure you know some, the ones who are so into their team that this obsessiveness leaves no room for tolerance, for contrary ideas or opinions. Most of them are harmless, but some do suffer from self-inflicted brainwashing. Sure, some can be cute and fun in their beliefs and support, but it can turn rather nasty when opposite fan-groups lock heads – big time.

Fortunately, it is not often we hear about the destruction opposite fan-groups can create, but unfortunately it happens; in some horrific confrontations, even fatalities occur, and for what? I follow and support Manchester United and if you tell me that you like Liverpool, makes no difference to me (besides me thinking: why would you follow such a stupid club – ha ha). But if you try to convince me that I should follow your club, I’m out of here. I respect your choice (no matter how stupid it is – ha ha) as I expect you will respect my choices (no matter how stupid you might think they are – ha ha). You see, light and fun and harmless, really…

I followed the Beatles since 1962; Love Me Do and forward. I still play their music and still enjoy it all tremendously, as I always have. I was even fortunate to see them in concert twice, once in London and once in Copenhagen (without Ringo). I have read a trillion (more or less) books about them as the Beatles and individually and so forth. Beatlemania was a term that popped up rather quickly, but I never ever found myself on that level – if there was actually a ‘level’ to be on. But I was always a supporter (in this case ‘a very enthusiastic’ supporter), and never saw myself as a fan or maniac (ha ha) – for some weird reason, really.

I truly embrace people who have great interests in stuff, entertainment and sports or whatever (as long as it’s legal). I’m even fascinated, though I don’t fully understand why, with people who are big fans of baseball. Some weeks back I watched a friend of mine play rugby. A muddy field filled with a bunch of women tackling and stacking themselves on top of each other, while trying to run an odd-shaped ball to the other end – or something like that. Sure my description ooze ignorance and arrogance, but that’s not what I’m aiming at, because when I watched all those women doing that thing and watched the sidelines with the team’s fans, because that’s what they were, how can I not so totally appreciate and embrace what they are doing? How darn cool is it when so many people get together about this one thing – as an example?

Fair-weather fan? I have to totally swing with that, because at times I get on the fair-weather-fan-wagon, when a local team is doing well. The Golden State Warriors (basketball) has done well the last few years, so I kind of follow them and their success. They won a lot and then they lost a bit, so I activate my supporter motto: Team wins – I fan / Team loses - I don’t. Yeah, a tad shallow, but remember the deal about its only entertainment and if I’m not entertained, whatever my prerogatives, I have options and a whole lot of other things to do.

Like everything else in life, for the most part, moderation is important. If your team lost, God forbid, please don’t let that ruin any moments or any parts of your day – remember, that professional sports of whatever kind, is ONLY entertainment, nothing more and nothing less; let’s keep things in perspective.

Does it bother me when Manchester United loses a match? It does if they played well, but couldn’t find the net. If they played like crap, obviously they didn’t deserve to win – so what’s for dinner? And life goes on… fan or not.

PS. Shit hitting the fan is not at all associated with the above – but perhaps in some cases it should be, huh? (ha ha)…