HUMOR – we would go mad without it

I learned early on, that if we can’t make fun of ourselves, we shouldn’t make fun of anybody else. I’m not talking about mean-spirited stabs of evilness, as that has nothing to do with humor what-so-ever. I’m talking about stuff that’s lighthearted, intelligent and, yeah funny. Humor is a grand reliever of tension and should, for the most part, resemble simple terms-of-endearments, which makes life more fun, interesting, open and light; we all need that - like a lot. Remember that laughter is the shortest distance between two people; humor creates laughter, and we would go totally wacky without it. 

Humor, (or like the British say it: humour) is the stuff that makes us laugh, or more scientifically said, it is the promotion as well as the provocation of laughter that provides amusement. Humor is actually a term that comes from ‘humeral medicine’ by the ancient Greeks that taught the balance of fluids in the human body, which they believed, controlled health and emotion. In Latin ‘humor’ actually means ‘body fluid’; you didn’t know that, so now you do. But never use: “Was that a stab at ‘body fluid’?” because nobody would know what the heck you are talking about...

The grand thing about humor is that it’s so utterly universal. Throw a pie in somebody’s face (not mine, of course) and people of all ages, cultures, religions, nationalities and no matter what car they drive or mule they ride, will at least smile, if not laugh, perhaps with the exception of the one with the pie-face, I assume.

When we are amused, smile and laugh at something funny, or what we consider to be funny, we are blessed with a sense of humor. But there are also people without a sense of humor, and I do seriously feel so sorry for them, as laughter is a wonderful form of healing, relaxation and a whole bunch of other related goodie stuff.

Humor is very much based on personal taste and have many variables, including geographical location, culture, maturity, education, intelligence and of course context. Kids and the ‘kid’ in all of us, like the fall-on-your-butt stuff (slapstick), as it is very visual. The contrast is satire, which requires an understanding, socially, politically (especially these days) etc. as well as a basic knowledge concerning what it is that the satire is aimed at; if we don’t have that knowledge, we won’t find it funny (sigh).

There are a lot of positives concerning humor. Both physically and psychologically, humor contributes to a higher level of well-being. Sure, aggressive humor on a derogatory level is not building much well-being or feeling well, whereas adaptive humor, the tongue-in-cheek kind, can actually improve self-esteem, decrease anxieties and make you feel loved, simply by the attention. Remember that adaptive humor goes hand-in-hand with terms-of-endearment. Mostly, we ‘make fun’ of people we like and love, and for the most part, they understand that’s what it is - like and love. 

I enjoy making people smile and laugh, something I realized when I was an early teenager. It started with small relevant, in some cases irrelevant comments about what I observed around me. In the class-room, with many visits to the principal’s office – sent there after the teachers were done laughing. Surrounded by friends or family and later on, colleagues and just about anybody I met and keep meeting on my way. I know I’m good at it, which sounds presumptuous and bragging, but is pretty much the truth; I do make people laugh, and not only when they see me naked.

I have always communicated with anybody on my way, and when I see those smiles and the laughter, it surely makes me feel good, anytime. Half the joy of my traveling is the communication with the natives, fellow travelers and just about anybody else. Language has never been a problem, as promoting humor is understood by just about all.

Many thoughts have gone through my head concerning why I do this communication bit and I have come to the conclusion that it’s one way to control the shyness I have dealt with all my life, mixed with a bit of anxieties and perhaps insecurities; the two last ones are still up for debate, though. The true main reason is that I am a firm believer of the reality, that we ALL matter to each other, and I find it important to acknowledge that, which I then try to do in a humorous way – okay, for the most part. I always joke about what my gravestone should read:

IF I MADE YOU LAUGH - I LIVED.

The fine lines with humor are overstepped at times, and that can end up terribly misunderstood, rude and hurting the target of these misguided remarks and/or comments. I’m very good at remembering the rude moments, disrespectful handling and total screw-ups concerning several flashes in my life, but I cannot remember any of those moments related to stepping over the lines, while trying to be funny. 

Humor can be and is such a reliable tool when we need to reduce tension and stress. Being able to use humor to untangle arguments that for the most part are just silly anyway when looking at the bigger picture, is not an unattainable tool for the few and lucky ones, but something we must all at least try to understand how to use and especially how to embrace when used.

Sure my wife and I have had but a few arguments of the heated kind through our 33+ years together. Though we have always respected and appreciated each other’s opinions and concerns and do actually listen to each other, it is for the most part left on a diplomatic level, where a humorous remark brings us to solutions and agreements of the kinder kind; the heated argument is being diffused to where it is a lot easier to deal with and untangle. We are both very stubborn individuals, so a lot of the glory concerning the longevity of our relationship, I truly credit to the use of and our sense of humor. 
 
Throughout my career I have also diffused negotiations and debates with lighthearted remarks and comments. If you have ever been in a tense situation at work and somebody utters a related comment to the issues being handled, a comment that is humorous or witty, have you noticed how everybody seems much more relaxed and even more focused in a refreshed manner? Sure, if it’s a stupid or ignorant stab at humor, it can backfire in a big way – so before you open your mouth, make sure it’s within the acceptable limits of the present situation.

I use self-defeating humor a lot. Remember, if you can’t make fun of yourself, don’t try it on anybody else. I see my own faults and have never been afraid acknowledging and underline these sides of me through humorous remarks - never at all. I know what I’m good at or what I think I’m good at, but I certainly also know where I suck - like really a lot.

Sure we can get carried away with making it all about ourselves and when we do, the humor quickly dies, and the laughing stops. We can also get carried away with hacking in a friendly (!) way on somebody else, so please remember, that it’s a lot more effective and a lot funner (huh?), when we apply the art of moderation.

Laughing is tremendous fun and extremely healing; humor promotes that. Endorphins are the chemical reactions that is released into our bodies when we laugh and which makes us feel really good. After an evening with a lot of laughter, we are somewhat exhausted the next morning, and for the most part it’s because of them endorphins and perhaps a bit of too much wine…to me, the perfect combination. Humor is a good healer, makes us feel alive and well – so do not hold back, as we would go totally mad without it…