PERFECTION – be careful what you wish for

I don’t want to be perfect or even be called perfect, because I consider it disturbing. Not that I have ever been called ‘perfect’ (like never), but if you, in a moment of obvious insanity suddenly saw perfection in me, I would feel sad and distraught. The reason being, that I find perfection boring, because where’s the challenge if we are perfect? – I don’t want to feel bored by not being challenged - so would you like to be called perfect? My advice, be careful what you wish for… 

Of course, perfection to me might be an utter mess of imperfections to you, as many impressions and opinions about perfection are personal choices and individual taste; and of course, that’s how it should be.

The young skater did a bang up routine. She nailed all the jumps and landings, the flow was wow, and the sheer energy, her huge smile and positive attitude underlined her superb performance. She got a score of 10, which in the world of skating is the Holy Grail and all you can get: sheer perfection. But of course, that was just the opinion of 8 judges, okay skating experts, but did you agree? You saw the same thing they saw, but from your point of view concerning skating perfection, you might only have given her a 9.7 – and I seriously think she would have been happier with that score; I’ll explain a bit further down.

We tend to use the term “perfect” a lot, but I am sure we really don’t mean it like that. But when your girlfriend swirl around in that new dress with matching shoes and glossy lipstick, you do not say ‘near perfect’, because that would be taken wrong, huh? No, you jump out in the deep end and say ‘perfect’, as in ‘it can’t get any better than this’ – and that might actually be precisely what you see – that very moment.

Okay so I play around with this a bit, but when you think about it, perfection can only be applied in rare situations. My thoughts about this is, as deep as they go, that as human beings we have this utter vast sense of curiosity; we have always had this unreserved driven force to find out what’s around the next corner, and we were driven like that, even before corners were invented, seriously. If curiosity had not been a part of who we are and who we were from the very start, we would still be living in caves and so totally without Wi-Fi, for sure.

But driven by curiosity, we have come a long way on most levels, though not that far on others. Still driven by the urge to learn more, advance further, do better, be smarter, etc. we constantly turn new corners, finding exciting new challenges and that keeps us going; we have already done so for thousands of years.

So I question how perfect anything can be beyond those ‘perfect’ moments, as new ones will appear and be even more perfect. But in everyday language it’s just a fluffy and casually used word for ‘really nice’ or something like that. You see, perfection would end whatever it is that we deem cannot be improved upon– it has nowhere to go and has been stretched to its utmost – and that’s a pity, sadly so.

Of course our skater girl is thrilled for her perfect 10 – her very best ever; but haven’t we in some way told her that she cannot get any better? Haven’t we killed her curiosity, the challenge for her to improve even more, her drive to work even harder to find out what’s around that next corner? How do I get a ten? And then she scored one, but now what? You can see why I’m not thrilled being called ‘perfect’ – yeah, like that will happen; but just in case it does, I am both mentally and emotionally ready (ha ha).

What I’m concerned, the softer, gentler version of perfection is more my kind of deal. I look at my wife and at times I see perfection. It’s not the physical aspect, a mental and/or emotional mood, it’s really nothing specific. It’s much more so the ‘whole’ experience at that very moment – and that moment only. It’s when it all comes together and I utter or think (with a smile) ‘wow’, as in ‘how perfect was that?’ Luckily it happens often when I look at her.

We must acknowledge that perfection comes in many colors, sizes and packages. There is no law or manual that puts perfection in a box or crams it into a mold as the only one kind of thing. That is really what’s fascinating about perfection, the many ways we can experience it – and that is actually rather cool.

I’m a strong advocate and believer in the fact, my fact at least, that we can always improve; we can always do better, which is somewhat contrary to the above. Our skater-girl is not a lost soul, because her new challenge, her turn of the next corner is to continue to get 10s, and that is actually a lot harder than getting that first 10. I coached soccer many years and found that winning one game was easy compared to winning ten games in a row. When the winning streaks continued, each game got tougher to win – a lot tougher. But those are the challenges we thrive under, challenges we need to face to move forward. Yes, we can always improve… and for the most part we do.

I don’t like it when people call my writing perfect, my (good) looks, my charm, intelligence, humbleness and that biting wit of mine. But if you absolutely have to address these attributes associated with me, please be kind and use the term ‘near perfect’; I’m totally okay with that, as it leaves me with some room to wriggle and improve – and we all need that challenge to find many more corners to turn – don’t you think so? I knew you would… Perfect!