STUPID PEOPLE – doing stupid things

After the first run of the bulls in Pamplona (Spain) this year, it was Stupid People 0 – Smart Bulls 8. Translated, that 8 people were badly hurt and the bulls went home without a scratch. Two Americans were seriously injured, but only if you consider getting gored in the armpit by a 16 million pound ferocious bull with very long, sharp and spiky things sticking out of its forehead, as being serious. A British male was spiked in the groin area (ouch) and if you happen to be a man, you can imagine how serious that might be. It could also promote an instant gender change, but in this case it didn’t; stupid people - doing stupid things.

Please tell me: why would anybody voluntarily try to outrun six heavily armed bulls (remember those long spiky things on their forehead)? It does not make any sense at all. And don’t give me “it’s part of a long tradition” crap, because whatever your answer, it is still stupid people doing stupid things. I do hope the Pamplona bulls have a really good time; I really wish they do.

Human beings like challenges; I’m one of them. Some confront extreme dares and in many cases it involves the plausible possibility of getting hurt rather bad (ask the British dude or would that be ‘dudette?) or die. And ‘no’ I’m not even close to be in the death-wish-challenge category. I have no interest in dying before my natural time, caused by some stupid dare, including long spiky horn-things.

In a boxing ring, which kind of sounds old-fashioned these days, the purpose is to knock the crap out of the opponent. In cage-fighting it’s even more violent; sure they have rules, but you can still be hurt extremely bad. So why challenge that possibility?

I do admire the physical abilities of extreme rock climbers. How they can attach themselves to a vertical wall with so little to hang on to, with the sole support of some talc, long fingernails, feet and nerves of steel, I will never fathom. It must be a thrill so high that they have to do it, so insane that they can’t find a way back to normality, where they could make a much more logic (and safer) decision. But in that world, the challenge is: ‘I either make it to the top or I fall down and die’. For me, those odds sucks big time (and my nails are not long enough – luckily). 

I still think it is stupid people doing stupid things. “He died doing what he wanted to do and loved…” To me that sounds utterly pathetic as he was 32 with a wife, two young children and a full life ahead of him – and now the thrill is gone, especially for the wife and kids (and their cute bunny named Fluffy).

Devon Staples died on July 4th in Calais, Maine, after he lit and placed a piece of firework on top of his head as a joke. Hello, anybody home? Fireworks are pretty much categorized as explosives (duh) and as we like things that explode we gladly buy these sticks of ‘dynamite’ and make them go off. Lots of movies survive solely because everything pretty much blows up for 1-1/2 hour, or the time it takes to inhale a butter-flavored super-large bucket of popcorn. So here we have a young man who ended his life doing something stupid – really. I’m sad that his life ended, but I’m also going: ‘what’s wrong with this picture?’

Perhaps the newspaper was getting it wrong, but Devon’s saddened father expressed afterwards that ‘firework retailers are simply supplying people with bombs. That doesn’t make sense to me.’ Excuse me? I’m lost for words; what part of ‘fireworks’ don’t you get? Should it say on the package: Do not activate on head, stick into ear or up your nose or into any other bodily cavity – just in case…?

And talking about pathetic: As a young boy back in Denmark, every New Year Eve we were given a big box of fireworks as well as a big lit cigar (to light the fireworks). There were some heavy rockets and some rather powerful ‘explosives’ involved (the good old days). Four years in a row (yes FOUR), one of those medium strong sticks exploded by my right ear, as I did not throw it fast enough – yes, four years in a bloody row – how repeatedly stupid was that? I would scream because it hurt – a lot, and then run back home where my mother was ready with, of all things, a stick of butter. She would quickly drench my boo-boo ear with the butter and off I’ll go to make more things explode… I mean twice would have been acceptable, but four years in a row? How stupid was that? Had I learned nothing?

Just a few days ago in central California, a suspected burglar died in a chimney – true story. What happened was that the owner of the house came home and wanted a bit of heat and coziness, so he lit a fire in the fireplace. After a few moments he heard somebody scream and to his astonishment he realized it came from the chimney. My first thought would have been that Santa Claus was making a trial run… and got stuck.

But it was a burglar hiding in the chimney. The house-owner called 911. When the emergency unit arrived, they broke down the chimney, only to find the suspect dead. I really don’t know how to deal with this, other than ‘how can we be so stupid’. 

Of course I’m totally amazed that we have not had more of the same kind of incidents with the millions of Santa’s traveling up and down as many chimneys every Christmas – or are those fatalities kept under wraps so we don’t get scared and frightened when Christmas arrives? We all want Jolly Santa – not Dead Santa.

There are actually so many stupid people doing stupid stuff and it totally baffles me, because some of these stupid things they do are so, well, really stupid. Let me finish with one of my favorites:

A young adult (debatable) enter a liquor-store, pulls out a gun and asks for money. The clerk hands him whatever is in the till. Then this young person points at some bottles of whiskey behind the clerk. “Give me one of those”. The clerk looks at this young robber and says (bless his brave heart): “You don’t look old enough to legally consume alcohol…” The robber thinks (I doubt it) for a moment; then he pulls out a picture ID, hands it to the clerk and says: “See, I’m old enough…” The clerk look at the ID, quickly memorize the name and address and hands a bottle of whiskey to the kid, who run out as fast as he can.

I’m sure you get the gist of the story, and ‘yes’ the police was waiting for this stupid person as he arrived home with the money and a (free?) bottle of whiskey.

Life is already full of chances that we challenge every day. We drive cars, we fly, we sail, we get married (only kidding), we smoke, we drink, we eat saturated fat food and we cross the streets. The list is fiercely long and thinking about some of it, can be rather scary. But that is life and we try to make it through a normal existence by being careful about what we challenge and how. So why should we worsen those somewhat fair odds by trying to outrun bulls, explode things on our heads, hide in chimneys or do other insanely stupid things?

Some extremists in the death-defying-challenge-department might look at us ‘normal’ human beings as boring, compared to living on a vertical mountainside, where long nails and talc might keep you from falling to your death, as being exciting. But, Dear Reader, I do prefer a somewhat boring life likened to an exciting death – anytime, as I’m not that stupid…